The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
“Certainly not,” I hear the Rose reply. “If you can see anything in her,
you shall have nothing to do with me.”
“If you care for that bold creature,” says the Lily, trembling, “you are
not the man I took you for. Good-bye.”
“Go to your baby-faced Violet,” cries the Tulip, with a toss of her
haughty head. “You are just fitted for each other.”
And when I return to the Lily, she tells me that she cannot trust me.
She has watched me with those others. She knows me for a gad-about. Her
gentle face is full of pain.
So I must live unloved merely because I love too much.
My wonder is that young men ever marry. The difficulty of selection must
be appalling. I walked the other evening in Hyde Park. The band of the
Life Guards played heart-lifting music, and the vast crowd were basking
in a sweet enjoyment such as rarely woos the English toiler. I strolled
among them, and my attention was chiefly drawn towards the women. The
great majority of them were, I suppose, shop-girls, milliners, and others
belonging to the lower middle-class. They had put on their best frocks,
their bonniest hats, their newest gloves. They sat or walked in twos and
threes, chattering and preening, as happy as young sparrows on a clothes
line. And what a handsome crowd they made! I have seen German crowds, I
have seen French crowds, I have seen Italian crowds; but nowhere do you
find such a proportion of pretty women as among the English middle-class.
Three women out of every four were worth looking at, every other woman
was pretty, while every fourth, one might say without exaggeration, was
beautiful. As I passed to and fro the idea occurred to me: suppose I
were an unprejudiced young bachelor, free from predilection, looking for
a wife; and let me suppose—it is only a fancy—that all these girls were
ready and willing to accept me. I have only to choose! I grew
bewildered. There were fair girls, to look at whom was fatal; dark girls
that set one’s heart aflame; girls with red gold hair and grave grey
eyes, whom one would follow to the confines of the universe; baby-faced
girls that one longed to love and cherish; girls with noble faces, whom a
man might worship; laughing girls, with whom one could dance through life
gaily; serious girls, with whom life would be sweet and good,
domestic-looking girls—one felt such would make delightful wives; they
would cook, and sew, and make of home a pleasant, peaceful place. Then
wicked-looking girls came by, at the stab of whose bold eyes all orthodox
thoughts were put to a flight, whose laughter turned the world into a mad
carnival; girls one could mould; girls from whom one could learn; sad
girls one wanted to comfort; merry girls who would cheer one; little
girls, big girls, queenly girls, fairy-like girls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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