The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
“Poor little souls,” we say; “how they did hullabaloo. One might have
thought they were half-killed. And it was only a broken crown, after
all. What a fuss children make!” We bear with much stoicism the fall of
little Jack and little Jill.
But when _we_—grown-up Jack with moustache turning grey; grown-up Jill
with the first faint “crow’s feet” showing—when _we_ tumble down the
hill, and _our_ pail is spilt. Ye Heavens! what a tragedy has happened.
Put out the stars, turn off the sun, suspend the laws of nature. Mr.
Jack and Mrs. Jill, coming down the hill—what they were doing on the hill
we will not inquire—have slipped over a stone, placed there surely by the
evil powers of the universe. Mr. Jack and Mrs. Jill have bumped their
silly heads. Mr. Jack and Mrs. Jill have hurt their little hearts, and
stand marvelling that the world can go about its business in the face of
such disaster.
Don’t take the matter quite so seriously, Jack and Jill. You have
spilled your happiness, you must toil up the hill again and refill the
pail. Carry it more carefully next time. What were you doing? Playing
some fool’s trick, I’ll be bound.
A laugh and a sigh, a kiss and good-bye, is our life. Is it worth so
much fretting? It is a merry life on the whole. Courage, comrade. A
campaign cannot be all drum and fife and stirrup-cup. The marching and
the fighting must come into it somewhere. There are pleasant bivouacs
among the vineyards, merry nights around the camp fires. White hands
wave a welcome to us; bright eyes dim at our going. Would you run from
the battle-music? What have you to complain of? Forward: the medal to
some, the surgeon’s knife to others; to all of us, sooner or later, six
feet of mother earth. What are you afraid of? Courage, comrade.
There is a mean between basking through life with the smiling contentment
of the alligator, and shivering through it with the aggressive
sensibility of the Lama determined to die at every cross word. To bear
it as a man we must also feel it as a man. My philosophic friend, seek
not to comfort a brother standing by the coffin of his child with the
cheery suggestion that it will be all the same a hundred years hence,
because, for one thing, the observation is not true: the man is changed
for all eternity—possibly for the better, but don’t add that. A soldier
with a bullet in his neck is never quite the man he was. But he can
laugh and he can talk, drink his wine and ride his horse. Now and again,
towards evening, when the weather is trying, the sickness will come upon
him. You will find him on a couch in a dark corner.
“Hallo! old fellow, anything up?”
“Oh, just a twinge, the old wound, you know. I will be better in a
little while.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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