The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow — John Shaqi
The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
I was also hampered by a scarcity in runaway horses. The horse of our
suburb was not that type of horse. Once and only once did an opportunity
offer itself for practice. It was a good opportunity, inasmuch as he was
not running away very greatly. Indeed, I doubt if he knew himself that
he was running away. It transpired afterwards that it was a habit of
his, after waiting for his driver outside the Rose and Crown for what he
considered to be a reasonable period, to trot home on his own account.
He passed me going about seven miles an hour, with the reins dragging
conveniently beside him. He was the very thing for a beginner, and I
prepared myself. At the critical moment, however, a couple of officious
policemen pushed me aside and did it themselves.
There was nothing for me to regret, as the matter turned out. I should
only have rescued a bald-headed commercial traveller, very drunk, who
swore horribly, and pelted the crowd with empty collar-boxes.
From the window of a very high flat I once watched three men, resolved to
stop a runaway horse. Each man marched deliberately into the middle of
the road and took up his stand. My window was too far away for me to see
their faces, but their attitude suggested heroism unto death. The first
man, as the horse came charging towards him, faced it with his arms
spread out. He never flinched until the horse was within about twenty
yards of him. Then, as the animal was evidently determined to continue
its wild career, there was nothing left for him to do but to retire again
to the kerb, where he stood looking after it with evident sorrow, as
though saying to himself—“Oh, well, if you are going to be headstrong I
have done with you.”
The second man, on the catastrophe being thus left clear for him, without
a moment’s hesitation, walked up a bye street and disappeared. The third
man stood his ground, and, as the horse passed him, yelled at it. I
could not hear what he said. I have not the slightest doubt it was
excellent advice, but the animal was apparently too excited even to
listen. The first and the third man met afterwards, and discussed the
matter sympathetically. I judged they were regretting the pig-headedness
of runaway horses in general, and hoping that nobody had been hurt.
I forget the other characters I assumed about this period. One, I know,
that got me into a good deal of trouble was that of a downright, honest,
hearty, outspoken young man who always said what he meant.
I never knew but one man who made a real success of speaking his mind. I
have heard him slap the table with his open hand and exclaim—
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