The Second Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
Have not you, my fair Reader, sometimes thought to yourself what a
delightful husband Tom this, plus Harry that, plus Dick the other, would
make? Tom is always so cheerful and good-tempered, yet you feel that in
the serious moments of life he would be lacking. A delightful hubby when
you felt merry, yes; but you would not go to him for comfort and strength
in your troubles, now would you? No, in your hour of sorrow, how good it
would be to have near you grave, earnest Harry. He is a “good sort,”
Harry. Perhaps, after all, he is the best of the three—solid, staunch,
and true. What a pity he is just a trifle commonplace and unambitious.
Your friends, not knowing his sterling hidden qualities, would hardly
envy you; and a husband that no other girl envies you—well, that would
hardly be satisfactory, would it? Dick, on the other hand, is clever and
brilliant. He will make his way; there will come a day, you are
convinced, when a woman will be proud to bear his name. If only he were
not so self-centred, if only he were more sympathetic.
But a combination of the three, or rather of the best qualities of the
three—Tom’s good temper, Harry’s tender strength, Dick’s brilliant
masterfulness: that is the man who would be worthy of you.
The woman David Copperfield wanted was Agnes and Dora rolled into one.
He had to take them one after the other, which was not so nice. And did
he really love Agnes, Mr. Dickens; or merely feel he ought to? Forgive
me, but I am doubtful concerning that second marriage of Copperfield’s.
Come, strictly between ourselves, Mr. Dickens, was not David, good human
soul! now and again a wee bit bored by the immaculate Agnes? She made
him an excellent wife, I am sure. _She_ never ordered oysters by the
barrel, unopened. It would, on any day, have been safe to ask Traddles
home to dinner; in fact, Sophie and the whole rose-garden might have
accompanied him, Agnes would have been equal to the occasion. The dinner
would have been perfectly cooked and served, and Agnes’ sweet smile would
have pervaded the meal. But _after_ the dinner, when David and Traddles
sat smoking alone, while from the drawing-room drifted down the notes of
high-class, elevating music, played by the saintly Agnes, did they never,
glancing covertly towards the empty chair between them, see the laughing,
curl-framed face of a very foolish little woman—one of those foolish
little women that a wise man thanks God for making—and wish, in spite of
all, that it were flesh and blood, not shadow?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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