The Secret Life: Being the Book of a Heretic — John Shaqi
The Secret Life: Being the Book of a HereticBisland, Elizabeth
Philosophy
The Secret Life: Being the Book of a Heretic
Bisland, Elizabeth
Diaries
The man had no passion. He did not marry because, he says, he demanded
perfection; could not find or give it, and therefore resigned himself
cheerfully to celibacy. Passion, of course, would have blinded his
eyes to imperfections; having none, his eyes were always clear.... It
is perhaps in this passionlessness that he is most modern. Most of us
no longer demand perfection. Knowing it to be unattainable, modern
common sense cheerfully agrees to abandon desire for it. This is
visible in our literature, in art, in love. No one reads or buys long
poems any more, therefore the poets never contemplate a new Paradise
Lost. No one paints heroic pictures, for they are not salable. The
grandiose has no market and therefore grows obsolete. The law of supply
and demand rules there as elsewhere. Passion and the perfection it
longs and strives for is démodé.
July 20.
A Poet Sheep-rancher.
F---- is dead, and with the announcement by cable this morning comes
a belated letter from M----, full of hope and encouragement. A sudden
rally had made her believe in a possibility of recovery--no doubt it
was that last flare which comes often just as the oil fails and the
light is about to go out.
My mind has been full of amazement all day. It is so difficult to
realize that a strong, aggressive personality is finally and definitely
extinguished. I have been thinking of their odd, romantic story. He
must have had great seductive power--not easily realizable now--to
have come into her life and have persuaded her to abandon everything
to follow him. I have heard her tell the story often. The tall young
sheep-rancher from New Zealand, with his burning eyes and his pockets
full of sonnets, appearing one morning, and she suddenly abandons her
brilliant position, her jointure, her two orphan boys, and goes away,
despite the furious outcries of her family and friends, with a man
seven years her junior; goes into the wilderness with him, New Zealand
of more than a quarter of a century ago being decidedly wilderness,
yet she calls those the happiest years of her life--spent in a shanty
fifty miles from the nearest neighbour! She likes to recall the wild
scrambles among the mountains; the wrestles to save the sheep from the
spring floods; the vigils; the dances to which they rode on mountain
ponies, sixty or seventy miles; the makeshifts; the caring for flocks
and shepherds in the stress of heat and cold, of sickness and sorrow;
and the snow-bound nights beside the fire, when the sonnets came to
the fore again. After all it was youth, and love, and adventure; why
shouldn't she have been happy? And she was justified in her faith.
When I came to know them the detrimental young sheep-rancher moved in
a world of gilded aides-de-camp, with sentries and mounted escorts
attending his steps, surrounded by tropical pomp and spacious luxury,
and now, alas! he is but one more unit in the yearly tribute of flesh
and blood demanded by England's Equatorial Empire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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