My tone had a borrowed loudness reverberated from the height of the
land. Several voices cried out together: “We are all on deck, sir.”
Then stillness again, with the great shadow gliding closer, towering
higher, without a light, without a sound. Such a hush had fallen on
the ship that she might have been a bark of the dead floating in slowly
under the very gate of Erebus.
“My God! Where are we?”
It was the mate moaning at my elbow. He was thunderstruck, and as it
were deprived of the moral support of his whiskers. He clapped his hands
and absolutely cried out, “Lost!”
“Be quiet,” I said, sternly.
He lowered his tone, but I saw the shadowy gesture of his despair. “What
are we doing here?”
“Looking for the land wind.”
He made as if to tear his hair, and addressed me recklessly.
“She will never get out. You have done it, sir. I knew it’d end in
something like this. She will never weather, and you are too close now
to stay. She’ll drift ashore before she’s round. Oh my God!”
I caught his arm as he was raising it to batter his poor devoted head,
and shook it violently.
“She’s ashore already,” he wailed, trying to tear himself away.
“Is she?... Keep good full there!”
“Good full, sir,” cried the helmsman in a frightened, thin, childlike
voice.
I hadn’t let go the mate’s arm and went on shaking it. “Ready about,
do you hear? You go forward”--shake--“and stop there”--shake--“and hold
your noise”--shake--“and see these head-sheets properly
overhauled”--shake, shake--shake.
And all the time I dared not look towards the land lest my heart should
fail me. I released my grip at last and he ran forward as if fleeing for
dear life.
I wondered what my double there in the sail locker thought of this
commotion. He was able to hear everything--and perhaps he was able to
understand why, on my conscience, it had to be thus close--no less. My
first order “Hard alee!” re-echoed ominously under the towering shadow
of Koh-ring as if I had shouted in a mountain gorge. And then I watched
the land intently. In that smooth water and light wind it was impossible
to feel the ship coming-to. No! I could not feel her. And my second self
was making now ready to ship out and lower himself overboard. Perhaps he
was gone already...?
The great black mass brooding over our very mastheads began to pivot
away from the ship’s side silently. And now I forgot the secret stranger
ready to depart, and remembered only that I was a total stranger to the
ship. I did not know her. Would she do it? How was she to be handled?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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