"Is what's so dreadfully the matter with you, pray, that if you had
known there were two of us I'm exactly the one you wouldn't have
preferred?--so that you took me in other words only because supposing
there was nobody better!"
"There _could_ be nobody better, love!" he promptly enough laughed--and
yet somehow felt it a little weak for the absurd intensity of the
question; since the case _was_ really that, more and more desirable as
she grew with every point she made, it did inwardly and inexpugnably
beset him that the fine possession of truth on which he had been acting
wasn't then so very fine if it left a secret humiliation possible. There
was a word on his tongue that would help indeed to preserve the secrecy;
which was stayed, however, by a prior word of Mrs. Midmore's.
"Does the younger girl, in America, cousin, push in for an establishment
before her elders are properly settled?" The question, uttered with all
kind coolness, referred itself, as he felt, to the perfect proprieties,
yet nothing had so placed the speaker in the light of the manners
surrounding them, and he couldn't have told why it was unanswerable save
by his going into more things, and perhaps even meaner things, than he
then could care for. He wasn't, was he? pledged to Molly, or she to him,
through her being offered in the order of the proprieties; but his
kinswoman, in spite of this, could easily have convinced him that his
not taking her point would be low. For what was the old order in which
he found himself so triumphantly, even so pantingly, float but a grand
order? and what his having at some moments to breathe so hard but the
very attestation of his equal strength? It was when he breathed hardest,
he again recognised, that his throbs meant most to him; and he perhaps
hadn't been so little at a loss for anything as now for the right humour
and the right look. "It's everywhere easier, I suppose, to find a wife
than to find a husband, but marrying, as in all new countries, I take
it, proceeds so fast that you'd scarce notice by watching among us, in
any company, who comes in first. Those who do that here," he developed
at this high level of urbanity, "do it doubtless by a longer stretch
than we ever have to show; but how shall I tell you what I mean by there
not being perhaps so many there to come in last--or such a difference
even, for that matter, between last and first? I dare say you wouldn't
at once know many of 'em apart."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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