that he is excited and amused and exhilarated by the presence of these
latter, by the freedom with which he lives and enjoys and sees and
knows: the exhilaration proceeding during the "at first" time, as I put
it, by the sense, the fairly intoxicating and spell-casting
consciousness of how the inordinate business is going. His sense of
success, which there is just enough of his critical margin or edge to
appreciate, to estimate, and thus relate to his former consciousness and
his whole starting-point, this _creates_ for him a part of the success,
the success with the others, by the very spirit and glamour (to them)
that it gives him and that keeps up till the change I visualise, the
inevitable difference, to phrase it roughly, begins--begins by something
that _happens_, something that springs out of the very situation itself
for portent, for determination, and which I must work out, or work into,
exactly the right dramatic identity for. This I guarantee; but meanwhile
I am ahead of my argument, and must hark back for a few minutes to what
I left standing and waiting above--that "this" which I was there about
to follow up. At once, withal, I see it in images, which I must put as
they come, and which make for me thus, don't I seem to feel? one of the
first, if not _the_ very first passages of my action. An action, an
action, an action must it thus insuperably be--as it has moreover so
well started with being--from the first pulse to the last. Ralph, taking
leave of the Ambassador, the depositary of his extraordinary truth and
the (as he hopes) secured connection with the world he cuts himself
loose from, dropping as from a balloon thousands of feet up in the air,
and not really knowing what smash or what magically _soft_ concussion
awaits him--Ralph, I say, in entering the house then walks at a step
straight into 1820 and, closing the door behind him, shuts out
everything to which he has hitherto belonged. He is from that minute, to
his own eyes and all his own faculties, the young man in the portrait,
the young man we have seen advance to him that night of his vigil in the
drawing-room. This bridge or effective transition from the visit at the
Embassy to the central drama is thus _found_ and is as good as another
for my purpose--swift and straight and simple and direct; as I have on a
foregoing page, however, sufficiently stated. Well then, I want to make
it, _within_, his arrival, practically, from America to the London
family: as to which, however, on consideration don't I see myself catch
a bright betterment by not at all making him use a latch-key?--to the
fact of which an awkwardness and a difficulty would, I seem to make out,
or _do_, rather, immediately attach. No, no--no latch-key--but a
rat-tat-tat, on his own part, at the big brass knocker; having effected
which he stands there a moment, I think, his head very triumphantly high
and confident, looking from the steps down at the Ambassador on the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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