herself, something strange and prodigious, or at least deeply
mystifying, in advance of the pressure brought to bear by her on him as
an indicated, approved, a revealed sufferer, the pressure in fine that
makes him break down. The trouble is that so I swing back again this way
to too near the objection-ability, and thereby ask myself if there isn't
a way out, a happy thought, in making her, instead of seeing something
more than the normal, making her, as I have used the term, "catch",
catch in the fact, something in excess of it, see something _less_, have
the queerness of _missing_ something--her miss of which needs to be
explained. The miss, as I call it, corresponds and matches with his
exposure to the retributive visitation, as I have called it; and
something glimmers out for me in the way of the very occurrence itself,
the fact of the visitation for him being marked, marked startlingly and
mystifyingly to her, not by his experience as in any degree detected by
her, discernible to her, but by his apparent exclusion from _any_
experience; or in other words by an inexplicable lapse or suspension of
his state of being at all. I think that if I can arrange that--her not
finding him present when by all the laws and the logic of life he should
_be_ present, and so having to challenge him for an explanation--in
short I believe I do so see something. He is extinguished for her senses
by being in the grip of his face-to-faceness with the other man; and
don't I make it out as arrangeable that this takes place in the very
fact of his having appointed a tryst or rendezvous with her, at which
she has found him, but in the midst of which he then astoundingly fails
and, as it were, evaporates? I seem to see something like her having
gone out to him by appointment, at dusk of evening, in the Square, the
enclosed square itself; where as she approaches she has recognised him
within, has even spoken to him through the rails, while he awaits her,
and there has had an exchanged word or two with her, directing her round
to the gate: which she reaches and enters the enclosure by only to
become sure, after moments and moments and moments of surprise and
stupefaction, that he is definitely _not there._ I think I have it, it
is then; it is at these moments, I mean during them, and under the
"influence" exactly, upon the other man, of the appointment given her,
that the "retributive visitation" takes place. So I get it, get it
enough, get in fact all I need. The visitation over he is in the place
again: he is there before her and what more natural "challenge" can I
have for her than her alarmed question, that is her stupefied one, as to
what in the world had during those moments, which I can make as long or
as short, for intensity, as I like, what in the name of unanswerable
wonder had become of him. He is there before her again, but before her
with what has happened to him overwhelmingly marked upon him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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