HOMEWARE: Love and war have been compared. Both require strategy and tactics, according to my recollection of the campaign. ARDEN: I will take to heart what you say, sir. HOMEWARE: Take it to head. There must be occasional descent of lovers' heads from the clouds. And Professor Spiral,--But here we have a belated breeze of skirts. (The reference is to the arrival of LYRA, breathless.) SCENE III HOMEWARE, ARDEN, LYRA LYRA: My own dear uncle Homeware! HOMEWARE: But where is Pluriel? LYRA: Where is a woman's husband when she is away from him? HOMEWARE: In Purgatory, by the proper reckoning. But hurry up the avenue, or you will be late for Professor Spiral's address. LYRA: I know it all without hearing. Their Spiral! Ah, Mr. Arden! You have not chosen badly. The greater my experience, the more do I value my uncle Homeware's company. (She is affectionate to excess but has a roguish eye withal, as of one who knows that uncle Homeware suspects all young men and most young women.) HOMEWARE: Agree with the lady promptly, my friend. ARDEN: I would gladly boast of so lengthened an experience, Lady Pluriel. LYRA: I must have a talk with Astraea, my dear uncle. Her letters breed suspicions. She writes feverishly. The last one hints at service on the West Coast of Africa. HOMEWARE: For the draining of a pestiferous land, or an enlightenment of the benighted black, we could not despatch a missionary more effective than the handsomest widow in Great Britain. LYRA: Have you not seen signs of disturbance? HOMEWARE: A great oration may be a sedative. LYRA: I have my suspicions. HOMEWARE: Mr. Arden, I could counsel you to throw yourself at Lady Pluriel's feet, and institute her as your confessional priest. ARDEN: Madam, I am at your feet. I am devoted to the lady. LYRA: Devoted. There cannot be an objection. It signifies that a man asks for nothing in return! HOMEWARE: Have a thought upon your words with this lady, Mr. Arden! ARDEN: Devoted, I said. I am. I would give my life for her. LYRA: Expecting it to be taken to-morrow or next day? Accept my encomiums. A male devotee is within an inch of a miracle. Women had been looking for this model for ages, uncle. HOMEWARE: You are the model, Mr Arden! LYRA: Can you have intended to say that it is in view of marriage you are devoted to the widow of Professor Towers? ARDEN: My one view. LYRA: It is a star you are beseeching to descend. ARDEN: It is. LYRA: You disappoint me hugely. You are of the ordinary tribe after all; and your devotion craves an enormous exchange, infinitely surpassing the amount you bestow. ARDEN: It does. She is rich in gifts; I am poor. But I give all I have. LYRA: These lovers, uncle Homeware!