Her voice broke. She pushed swiftly past Hendley, stumbling blindly
toward the bed. Her knees struck the edge of the plastifoam layer
and she fell forward face down onto the bed. Her body shook, and her
fingers dug into the covering. Her sobs were muffled.
Slowly Hendley's anger drained out of him. He felt dry, exhausted,
like eyes empty of their tears. Ann's slim figure seemed smaller lying
crumpled on the bed. Her nakedness made her seem merely vulnerable,
exposed to abuse and pain and shame. He could not shake out of his
mind the image of her on the stage--and especially the projection of
the audience's reaction on the huge thought-screen--but she was not to
blame. He should have known that, just as he should have known that the
honesty of her surrender on the warm sand of the surface outside the
museum could not have been simulated.
The rest didn't matter, he thought. She hadn't chosen a way of life for
herself. Only that afternoon had she chosen freely.
Crossing the room, he stood over the bed looking down at her. The
Organization! he thought savagely. The efficient world of machines,
coldly manipulating lives, juggling people as if they were no more than
the numbers in which the machines dealt.
He looked down at ABC-331. How much more than a set of numbers she was!
He sat beside her. His hand touched a smooth white shoulder. This time
he did not withdraw the touch, turning it into a caress. "I'm sorry,"
he said gently. "Can you forget what I said just now? It was the
surprise--the shock of seeing you on that stage. All that's over. Can
we go back?"
For a while she didn't move, but she ceased to cry. Her body no longer
trembled.
"You're beautiful," he said. "I know you don't like to hear that, but
you are. I've never seen anyone like you. You're not just beautiful the
way a statue is beautiful. It's a different quality--something soft and
warm inside you that shows through, that gives the other things"--he
smiled--"a special beauty. It makes them _mean_ something." With a
gentle pressure of his hand he rolled her onto her back. Her eyes, dark
with lingering tears, stared up at him, huge in her pale face. In the
dim light he could not see their color, but he remembered fans of brown
laced with green flecks. "You're lovely in the way a computer measures
loveliness, too. I can see why you were singled out to do--what you
have to do. But being beautiful isn't just having a certain shape
or size or texture...." His fingers brushed the swell of her breast
and moved down to trace the deep cut of her waist. Roughly, because
suddenly he wanted her, he said, "Your beauty is alive. It's real.
That's like the difference between a piece of plastic with wires woven
through it, and another that looks similar but has a live current that
makes it into a glowing light."
"Oh, Hendley," she whispered. Her hands reached up to pull him down
beside her. "I never wanted to be beautiful before! If only I didn't
have to--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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