ROBERT. Yus, I gorit-: _Drains wrong_, eh? Thought I'd like to
'av' a look at 'em--my job, yer know, _drains_! So you'll excuse
the togs: remind you of old days, eh what?
VICAR. Robert, what have you come here for?
ROBERT. You arsk me that?
VICAR. Yes, I do. Bob . . .
ROBERT. Why, to see my little gel, o' course--Gawd curse you! . . .
Now go an tell your ole woman.
[The VICAR stands as though stricken.]
Did you 'ear me speak? Tell 'er!
[The VICAR wavers a moment, and then staggers out silently through
the door, right. ROBERT watches him off with a look of iron. He
pays no heed to MANSON, who stands quite close to him, on the left.]
See that blighter? That's the bloke as was born with no bowels!
'E might a-made a man o' me once, if 'e'd tried; but 'e didn't--'im
and 'is like. Hm! Dam foolish, I call it, don't you?
MANSON. Yes, both: foolish and--damned!
[ROBERT turns and looks into his face for the first time as the
curtain slowly falls on the First Act.]
THE SECOND ACT
As the curtain rises, the scene and situation remain unchanged.
Presently, Robert, having completed his inspection of the other's
face and costume, moves away with a characteristic interjection.
ROBERT. Oh, Jeeroosalem! . . .
'Ere, 'elp us orf, comride: I'm wet through. Rainin' cats an'
dorgs dahn at the Junction! 'Ere, I cawn't . . . Wot oh! The
very identical! . . .
[MANSON has helped him off with his coat, and now hands him the
cassock.]
[Getting into it.] Don't know oo you are, ole pal, but you're a
bit of orl right! . . . Don't I look a corf-drop? 'Ere, where ye
teking it to? . . .
[He watches MANSON suspiciously as he places his coat before the
fire to dry.]
Bit 'andy, ain't yer? . . .
So this is where 'e lives! A bloomin' palace, as never I did
see! . . .
[MANSON prepares a place for him at the table, and pours out a cup
of tea, etc.]
Right you are, ole comride! 'E said breakfast, an' breakfast it
shall be, I don't fink! Blimey! Sossingers! Ain't 'ad the taste
of sossingers in my gizzard for I don't know 'ow long!
[He sits and devours whilst MANSON breaks and hands him bread,
waiting upon him.]
[Between bites.] Wouldn't think as I was 'is brother, would
yer--not to look at me? But strooth, _I am_; an' wot's more, 'e
cawn't deny it! . . . [He labours with a little joke.] There's a
lot o' brothers knockin' abaht as people don't know on, eh what?
See wot I mean? [Suddenly serious.] Not as I'm one o' them sort,
mind yer: my father married my mother honest, same as I married my
little . . .
[After a moment's reflection, he makes fresh onslaught upon the
sausages. Presently he looks up.]
'Ere, ain't you goin' ter 'av' none? . . . Cawn't yer speak?
MANSON. Yes.
ROBERT. Well, why cawn't yer arnser a bloke when 'e arsks yer
civil?
MANSON. You didn't make it dear that you wanted to eat with me.
ROBERT. Want a bit of 'eart in it, eh?
MANSON. Yes, that's all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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