“Vasenka! Do you speak of your father like this?” said the old woman
reproachfully, straightening herself.
“About my father!”
“About your own father?”
“He is no father to me!”
It was strange and absurd. Before him was the thought of death, while
here something small, empty and trivial arose, and his words cracked
like the shells of nuts under foot. And almost crying with
sorrow—because of the eternal misunderstanding which all his life long
had stood like a wall between him and those nearest to him, and which
even now, in the last hour before death, peered at him stupidly and
strangely through small, widely opened eyes—Vasily exclaimed:
“Don’t you understand that I am to be hanged soon? Hanged! Do you
understand it? Hanged!”
“You shouldn’t have harmed anybody and nobody would—” cried the old
woman.
“My God! What is this? Even beasts do not act like this! Am I not your
son?”
He began to cry, and seated himself in a corner. The old woman also
burst out crying in her corner. Powerless, even for an instant, to
blend in a feeling of love and to offset by it the horror of impending
death, they wept their cold tears of loneliness which did not warm
their hearts. The mother said:
“You ask whether I am a mother to you? You reproach me! And I have
grown completely gray during these days. I have become an old woman.
And yet you say—you reproach me!”
“Well, mother, it is all right. Forgive me. It is time for you to go.
Kiss my brothers for me.”
“Am I not your mother? Do I not feel sorry?”
At last she went away. She wept bitterly, wiping her face with the
edges of her kerchief, and she did not see the road. And the farther
she got from the prison the more bitterly she wept. She retraced her
steps to the prison, and then she strangely lost her way in the city in
which she had been born, in which she lived to her old age. She
strolled into a deserted little garden with a few old, gnarled trees,
and she seated herself upon a wet bench, from which the snow had
melted.
And suddenly she understood. He was to be hanged upon the morrow!
The old woman jumped up, about to run, but suddenly her head began to
swim terribly and she fell to the ground. The icy path was wet and
slippery, and she could not rise. She turned about, lifted herself on
her elbows and knelt, then fell back on her side. The black kerchief
had slipped down, baring upon the back of her head a bald spot amid her
muddy-gray hair; and then somehow it seemed to her that she was
feasting at a wedding, that her son was getting married, and she had
been drinking wine and had become intoxicated.
“I can’t! My God! I can’t!” she cried, as though declining something.
Swaying her head, she crawled over the wet, frozen crust, and all the
time it seemed to her that they were pouring out more wine for her,
more wine!
And her heart had already begun to pain her from her intoxicated
laughter, from the rejoicing, from the wild dancing—and they kept on
pouring more wine for her—pouring more wine!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account