He considered a moment; was it better to die at noon or at night? An odd
thing for a man to decide, but such details as this might as well be
fixed now as later. It took but a moment's deliberation; he elected to
go out at high noon. There would be dark enough afterwards--possibly an
eternity of dark. He would face the sun with his last gaze; he would
have the mad riot of men and women at midday ringing last in his ears.
As he drew in deep breaths it was as if he inhaled the whole world. He
felt as though, if he but stepped out sturdily enough, he could foot the
darkness. His head was light; his brain teemed with wild fancies. Then
pressing through this medley he saw for a moment the young woman who had
come to Barstow's laboratory. The effect was to steady him. He
remembered the sweet girlishness of her face, the freshness of it which
was like the freshness of a garden in the early morning. He realized
that she stood for one thing that he could never know. What was it that
he saw now in those strange eyes that left him a bit wistful at thought
of this? There was not a detail of her features, of her dress, of her
speech, that he could not see now as vividly as though she were still
standing before him. That was odd, too. He was not ordinarily so
impressionable. It occurred to him that he would not like her to know
what he was about to do. Bah, he was getting maudlin!
Late as it was, he left his room and went downtown to his office. He
worked here until daylight, falling asleep in his chair from four to
seven. He awoke fresh, and even more eager than the night before to
undertake his venture.
There remained still a few men to be seen. He transacted his business
with a brilliant dispatch and swift decision that startled them. He
disposed of all his office furniture, his books, destroyed all his
letters, made a will leaving instructions for the disposal of his body,
and concluded every other detail of his affairs before eleven o'clock.
When he left his office to go back to his room, he had in his pocket
every cent he possessed in the world in crisp new bank notes. It
amounted to twenty-eight hundred and forty-seven dollars. Not much to
scatter over a long life,--not much as capital. Invested it might yield
some seventy dollars a year. But as ready cash, it really stood for a
fortune. It was the annual income at four per cent on over seventy
thousand dollars, the monthly income on eight hundred and forty thousand
dollars, the weekly income on over three million. For seven days then he
could squander the revenue of a princely estate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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