He turned to the girl again. She too was one with this past of the
room. The straight nose with its shell-like nostrils as sensitive to
her thoughts as her eyes, the sharp cut corners of her mouth, and the
fine hair over her white forehead dated back to women whose features
had long been refined through their souls. All that he wished to crowd
into a week, they had possessed for a hundred years or more. It showed
even in this girl who had not yet come into the fulness of her
womanhood.
She sat uneasily far forward on her chair, leaning toward the flames as
though fearful of what might happen next. The light played upon her
hair and her white face, making her seem almost a thing of some
lighter, spirit world.
"I don't feel that I ought to detain you," she said, breaking the
silence which he for his part would have been willing to continue,
"but"--she looked up at him with a half-shamed smile--"I have n't the
courage to refuse your kindness."
"You have the right to accept it merely as a woman," he assured her.
"But I should n't need help," she answered with some spirit. "I don't
know what has come over me. I 'm just afraid of being alone."
"It is n't good for any one to be alone."
"You know?"
He answered slowly,
"Yes, I know."
Did any one know better? The curse of it had driven him to secure at
any cost the broader comradeship of men and women which, if it does not
come through some more subtle means such as she now seemed to suggest
to him, can be found in that cruder relationship always at the command
of those with some fortune. The thought swept over him that if he had
known her before yesterday, he could never have felt alone again. But
what had he to do with yesterday any more than with to-morrow?
"It is n't that there is anything to be afraid of here," she protested,
to ward off any suspicions that might be lurking in his mind. "It is
n't that. I 'm perfectly safe."
He nodded, though he by no means agreed with her.
"It would be just the same," she insisted with almost too much
emphasis, "if Ben were well. I think I must have become panic stricken
with myself."
He frowned. Then he broke out fiercely,
"It's the feel of all the silent people in the city around you,
perhaps. They are ghosts, these strangers,--human ghosts with fingers
which clutch your throat if you are n't careful. You sense them in New
York as nowhere else."
She glanced up quickly,
"That's an odd idea," she replied. "The loneliness comes then because
you are n't really alone."
"Yes--here in New York."
"But that is n't true of the woods," she asserted.
"You have been much among the trees?" he asked quickly, his voice
softening.
"Not very much. But enough to learn to love them. Especially the
inner woods."
He knew what she meant--the forests where things still grow for the sky
and the beasts and not for man; where man may come as guest but not as
master.
"No," he answered, "one never feels alone there."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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