CASE 2.--This case provides us with another description of the
undifferentiated sexual impulse. X. is thirty years of age. No morbid
condition is demonstrable in him. He remembers that the first sentiments
which he regards as sexual were experienced by him in the country. His
home was in a town, but during the holidays he was sent to board in the
country, in the house of a clergyman. He played much in the open air,
and he still recalls quite distinctly the passion with which, first of
all, he approached animals. "As if by an irresistible impulse I was
attracted, now by a goat, now by a dog, sometimes even by a horse. No
excitement of the genital organs was noticeable at this time, but I have
no doubt whatever now that these inclinations were sexual in their
nature. Not only did I touch the animals, but I embraced them and kissed
them. The warmth and the odour proceeding from such an animal, which is
now as a rule distasteful to me, was then a source of pleasure. When I
left the country, I took these memories away with me, but gradually they
faded and became faint. Next a fondness for one of my school-fellows
became most marked, and this lasted for a long time. I know not how to
describe the feeling I had for him otherwise than as an immeasurable,
passionate love. I was unhappy when I sat above him in the class.
Occasionally we sat side by side, but not always, since our places were
determined by our performances in class. If I was sitting next above
him, it was a joy to me to fail deliberately to answer a question,
simply in order to enable him to take my place, and thus to give him
pleasure. This relationship continued undisturbed for several years; we
rose together from class to class and remained friends. Not until the
beginning of the true puberal development did this fondness begin to
wane. I began to learn dancing rather early, and in the dancing-class
was a girl by whom I was now greatly attracted. She was of the same age
as myself--fourteen years. As far as I can remember, my inclinations
were now confined for a time to my boy companion and to this girl. At
first my affection for the boy was the greater, but gradually my
affection for the girl, who was healthy and vivacious in appearance,
became stronger. Still, this passion was a fire of straw, for though, in
the course of the next few years, my fondness for the boy gradually
declined, whilst my affection for the girl grew stronger, yet later this
girl was expelled from my circle of interests by others, my inclinations
changing rapidly from one girl to another. Homosexual sentiments hardly
existed any more. Very occasionally, indeed, even up to my twentieth
year, a certain interest was aroused in me by any youth with a truly
girlish, milk-white countenance. But subsequently this homosexual
inclination disappeared entirely, and my heterosexual development was
completed, so that I am now, I believe, in every respect a healthy
male."
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