As she went slowly along the path that she and Tom had traversed only
two days ago, she felt as though it were she, not he, who had gone away
from home and all its surroundings out to the open sea. Every landmark
with which she was familiar was left behind, her reserve, her modesty,
her pride. Two days ago she was anchored to her home in the cabin, to
her black mother and sister and brother; they were first, supreme in her
thoughts. She was attached to Miss Patty, who petted her and made her
feel less a servant than a loved child. Two days ago as she walked over
this path, she was at peace, and every murmuring sound, every flicker of
sunlight, every sweet, pungent odor sank into her spirit, and held her,
as she would have put it, close to God. Her religion, as she had
unconsciously evolved it from the crude, but poetic gospel of the
colored preacher, and from the commune she had held with nature, was
harmony, the oneness of man's spirit with the eternal goodness. It had
been largely an unconscious belief, born of her own tranquillity. But
now the tranquillity was broken, and peace would not return. Shutting
her eyes, she listened to the air singing in her ears; she tried to feel
herself carried out of the turmoil of the morning into the tabernacle of
the spirit.
But it was of no use. It was gone, home, work, religion. She had left
the shore and was in a little boat, blinded by the spray, tossed on a
sea of tumultuous desire. Tom, too, was out there somewhere on the
ocean, but it was the same Tom who had walked with her Sunday. If their
boats should meet, his and hers, he would not know his sister. She did
not know herself, and stopped amazed to find that she was weeping.
A cow, wearied with her attempt to get some nourishment out of the tough
hyacinth, moved out of the river, and, shaking the water from her wet
flanks, started home. Hertha suddenly found herself hungry and tired and
very much ashamed. The excitement that had brought the tears to her
cheeks was gone, leaving a dull depression behind. She turned on her
way, and as her mother's cabin came in sight, with a light in the
window, for it was late, she felt relieved and safe. After all, nothing
had happened, nothing. She was the same girl she had always been and
needed only to forget the happenings of the morning.
Her supper tasted good, and when it was over she thought that she was
ready to write a letter to Tom. The table cleared, however, and her pen
in hand, she could not find a word to say. How could she forget those
two meetings, the only events worth recording, of which Tom must never
learn a word? So she bit her pen, and at length, at her mother's
suggestion, postponed the letter to another day.
"Honey-lamb," mammy said, "you' eyes look close ter tears. Don't you
want Ellen to go wid yer down ter de dock? She jes' step out a minute
ter see de Theodore Roosevelt Jackson baby, but she'll come ef I call."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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