The room was reached at last. Hertha tore off her clothes, slipped into
her nightdress, and lay, a little huddled mass of shame and woe, upon
her bed. Her feet and hands were icy cold, her teeth were chattering,
but her brain was on fire. Pride and shame took equal possession of her
spirit. She had risked everything, she had been ready to give
everything, only to find herself despised. Ellen was right, her place
belonged with her own race. She was black, and she must never again
trust the white race that felt for her only an amused tolerance or
scorn. She was black, and hers was the black man's table, the black
man's home, the black man's burial-place. Never again would she think to
enter the white man's world.
And the beauty of her love was wholly gone. The courage with which her
lover had armed her had disappeared, and her affection, that had seemed
to her something pure and delicate, almost holy, became a common lust
that this man had awakened and then, disgusted at his choice of anything
so cheap, had cast aside. Nothing was left to her of the glory and
gladness of the morning.
But while shame and hurt pride swept over her, there came in their wake
an inexpressible relief. She was safe from harm. She was not like
Marantha but just Hertha Williams who had slipped out of her room to see
the stars and then slipped back again. She was safe here, in Tom's room,
at home.
Kneeling beside her bed she prayed for strength, strength to be good
though she was young and pretty and colored. She could not see ahead,
probably it would be wise to go away somewhere, she wished it might be
near Tom--it was hard to be alone; but she must never again trust the
white man's world.
Back in her bed terror crept over her once more and she shook with fear;
but at length, in sheer exhaustion, she lay quiet, and when the first
morning light entered the room it found her asleep.
CHAPTER IX
"Mercy on us!"
Miss Patty was overcome. She fell back in her chair, her hands trembling
violently, her breath coming short and quick.
"My dear," cried Miss Witherspoon hurrying toward her and fanning her
with the newspaper that lay on the table with the morning mail.
"It's incredible," the southern woman said. She picked up the letter she
had been reading, scanned it a moment, and put it on the table again.
Her companion, devoured with curiosity but strong in the belief that
good manners required that she should show indifference, continued her
ministrations for a few seconds and then turned to her own mail.
"You'll have to advise me," Miss Patty said tremulously, the letter
wavering in her hand, her small head with its white hair shaking up and
down as she talked. "Why should John and Lee have gone away this
morning! I don't know what to do."
"If I can be of any service----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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