At once an uneasiness possessed me, as if some support had been
withdrawn. I moved forward, too, outside the circle of light, into
the darkness that stood in front of me like a wall. In one stride I
penetrated it. Such must have been the darkness before creation. It had
closed behind me. I knew I was invisible to the man at the helm. Neither
could I see anything. He was alone, I was alone, every man was alone
where he stood. And every form was gone too, spar, sail, fittings,
rails; everything was blotted out in the dreadful smoothness of that
absolute night.
A flash of lightning would have been a relief--I mean physically. I
would have prayed for it if it hadn’t been for my shrinking apprehension
of the thunder. In the tension of silence I was suffering from it seemed
to me that the first crash must turn me into dust.
And thunder was, most likely, what would happen next. Stiff all over and
hardly breathing, I waited with a horribly strained expectation. Nothing
happened. It was maddening, but a dull, growing ache in the lower part
of my face made me aware that I had been grinding my teeth madly enough,
for God knows how long.
It’s extraordinary I should not have heard myself doing it; but I
hadn’t. By an effort which absorbed all my faculties I managed to keep
my jaw still. It required much attention, and while thus engaged I
became bothered by curious, irregular sounds of faint tapping on the
deck. They could be heard single, in pairs, in groups. While I wondered
at this mysterious devilry, I received a slight blow under the left
eye and felt an enormous tear run down my cheek. Raindrops. Enormous.
Forerunners of something. Tap. Tap. Tap. . . .
I turned about, and, addressing Gambrel earnestly, entreated him to
“hang on to the wheel.” But I could hardly speak from emotion. The
fatal moment had come. I held my breath. The tapping had stopped
as unexpectedly as it had begun, and there was a renewed moment of
intolerable suspense; something like an additional turn of the racking
screw. I don’t suppose I would have ever screamed, but I remember my
conviction that there was nothing else for it but to scream.
Suddenly--how am I to convey it? Well, suddenly the darkness turned into
water. This is the only suitable figure. A heavy shower, a downpour,
comes along, making a noise. You hear its approach on the sea, in the
air, too, I verily believe. But this was different. With no preliminary
whisper or rustle, without a splash, and even without the ghost
of impact, I became instantaneously soaked to the skin. Not a very
difficult matter, since I was wearing only my sleeping suit. My hair
got full of water in an instant, water streamed on my skin, it filled
my nose, my ears, my eyes. In a fraction of a second I swallowed quite a
lot of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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