In looking back, after long years, at their summer, Eppie could see,
more clearly than when she lived in it, that sadness and Gavan had
always gone together. He had, as it were, initiated her into suffering.
Sadness was the undertone of their sweet comradeship. Their happy
stories came to tragic endings. Death and disaster, though in trivial
forms, followed him.
With his returning strength, and perhaps with a sense of atonement to
her for what he had called his selfishness, Gavan plunged eagerly into
any outer interest that would please her. He spent hours in building for
her a little hut on the banks of the brae among the birches: the dolls’
Petit Trianon he called it, as the summer-house was their Versailles.
They had been reading about the French Revolution. Eppie objected to the
analogy. “I should always imagine that Elspeth’s head were going to be
cut off if I called it that.”
Gavan said that Elspeth need not be the queen, but a less exalted, more
fortunate court lady. “We’ll imagine that she escaped early from France
with all her family, saw none of the horrors, was a happy _émigrée_ in
England and married there,” he said; and he went on, while he hammered
at the pine boughs, with a desultory and reassuring account of Elspeth’s
English adventures. But poor Elspeth came to as sad an end as any victim
of the guillotine. Eppie was carrying her one day when she and Gavan had
followed Aunt Barbara on some housewifely errand up to the highest attic
rooms. Outside the low sills of the dormer-windows ran a narrow stone
gallery looking down over the pine-tree and the garden. The children
squeezed out through the window to hang in delighted contemplation over
the birds’-eye view, and then Eppie crawled to a farther corner where
one could see round to the moorland and find oneself on a level, almost,
with the rooks’ nests in the lime-trees. She handed Elspeth to Gavan to
hold for her while she went on this adventure.
He had just risen to his feet, looking down from where he stood over the
low parapet, when a sudden cry from Eppie--a great bird sailing by that
she called to him to look at--made him start, almost losing his balance
on the narrow ledge. Elspeth fell from his arms.
She was picked up on the garden path, far, far beneath, with a shattered
head. Gavan, perhaps, suffered more from the disaster than Eppie
herself. He was sick with dismay and self-reproach. She was forced to
make light of her grief to soothe his. But she did not feel that her
soothing hoodwinked or comforted him. Indeed, after that hour on the
hilltop, when he showed her his sorrow and his fear, Eppie felt that
though near, very near him, she was also held away. It was as if he felt
a discomfort in the nearness, or a dread that through it he might hurt
again or be hurt. He was at once more loving and more reticent. His
resolute cheerfulness, when they could be cheerful, was a wall between
them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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