Eppie was glad that it was raining on the last morning. Sunshine would
have been a mockery, and this tranquilly falling rain, that turned the
hills to pale, substanceless ghosts and brought the end of the moor,
where it disappeared into the white, so near, was not tragic. Gavan was
coming back. She would think only of that. She would not--would not cry.
He should see how brave she could be. When he was gone--well, she
allowed herself a swift thought of the Petit Trianon, its hidden refuge.
There, all alone, she would, of course, howl. There was a grim comfort
in this vision of herself, rolling upon the pine-needle carpet of the
Petit Trianon and shrieking her woes aloud.
At breakfast Gavan showed a tense, calm face. She was impressed anew
with the sense of his strength, for, in spite of his resolves, he was
suffering, perhaps more keenly than herself. Suffering, with him,
partook of horror. She could live in hopes, and on them. To Gavan, this
parting was the going into a dark cavern that he must march through in
fear. And then, he would never roll and shriek.
After breakfast, they hardly spoke to each other. Indeed, what was there
to say? Eppie filled the moments in superintending the placing of fruit
and sandwiches in his dressing-case. The carriage was a little late, so
that when the final moment came, there was a hurried conventionality of
farewell. Gavan was kissed by the aunts and shook hands with Miss
Grimsby, while the general called out that there was no time to lose.
“Come back to us, dear boy; keep your feet dry on the journey,” said
Miss Rachel, while Miss Barbara, holding his hand, whispered gently
that she would always pray for him.
Eppie and Gavan had not looked at each other, and when the moment came
for their farewell, beneath the eyes of aunts, uncle, Miss Grimsby, and
the servants, it seemed the least significant of all, was the shortest,
the most formal. They looked, they held hands for a moment, and Gavan
faltered out some words. Eppie did not speak and kept her firm smile.
Only when he had followed the general into the carriage and it was
slowly grinding over the gravel did something hot, stinging, choking,
flare up in her, something that made her know this smooth parting to be
intolerable--not to be borne.
She darted out into the rain. Bobbie was dead; Gavan was gone; why, she
was alone--alone--and a question was beating through her as she ran down
the drive and, with a leap to its step, caught the heavy old carriage in
its careful turning at the gate. Gavan saw, at the window, her white,
freckled face, her startled eyes, her tossed hair all beaded with the
finely falling rain--like an apparition on the ghostly background of
mist.
“Oh, Gavan, don’t forget me!” That had been the flaring terror.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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