The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
"You've been here? ... all night?" His tone was eloquent, eyes and
voice bespoke his disappointment. "And I never knew! To sleep like
that... and you here!"
"If knowledge of my presence would have kept you awake, I am glad you
did not know," she said. "You were a little feverish. We did not like
to leave you alone. But you've slept well."
She touched his neck lightly with her hand, the dear soft hand he longed
to hold and kiss--the hand which he had taken and almost flung from him
when he first heard of her marriage.
"The fever has gone," she added. "You will soon be all right."
"I'm all right now," he insisted. "I feel quite fit. It's awfully good
of you to have bothered, but you ought not to have sat up; it wasn't
necessary."
"I wasn't sure," she returned, "how badly you were hurt. I didn't
realise at first that you were hurt. I am sorry... I want you to--
forgive that injury."
"Oh, that!" he said, and thought of the greater injury Holman had
contrived. "I ran that risk with my eyes open. I'm not counting that."
She fell on her knees beside the bed and laid her two hands with swift
impulsiveness upon his breast.
"I know," she said, speaking very quickly and in lowered tones, her face
close to his, the soft eyes holding his eyes filled with an eager
pleading which it was difficult to resist--"I know you and Heinrich are
enemies... For that matter _we_ are enemies--you and I--"
"No," he interrupted sharply... "No... You and I, enemies! ...
Honor..."
"Ah!" she breathed softly, and the hands on his breast pressed more
firmly. "I didn't mean that--not actually. Always in my heart I've
known that couldn't be. You're my--"
"Lover," he interjected hoarsely.
She winced and her face went white.
"Friend--my dear friend," she corrected, but so gently, and with so
little real conviction in her voice that it was rather as though she
admitted his definition of the relationship. "You are my friend. You
must remain my friend... I want to keep--just that."
There were tears in her eyes now. She did not attempt to hide them:
they welled there, priceless diamonds from a mine of ungathered wealth,
welled, and overflowed, and fell on the man's breast. Matheson lay
still, staring at her, and made no response.
"This is the last time we shall meet," she went on quietly, striving
after and regaining something of her old composure. "You must not come
this way again. It would have been better for us both if you had not
come now. Why did you come?"
"I did not expect to see you," he replied, and evaded her eyes.
"I will tell you," she said. "You are seeking Heinrich--to kill him.
You meant to kill him..."
"I don't know." He moved uneasily. "I suppose that was it. He's a
spy. He has been guilty of the worst form of sedition... I didn't
know--how should I?--that--that you--Oh! my God! Honor, I would rather
you had died than married him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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