The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
And then, quite unexpectedly and silently, she appeared among them, and
stood in the open window of the sitting-room, leaning her shoulder
against the frame. She came so softly to the window, and took up her
position there without remark, that Matheson realised her presence only
through that extra sense which apprises one of the nearness of another
person through the medium of a wordless transmission of thought. He
turned his head abruptly, and found her behind him, and stood up. Their
eyes met. In the dusk amid the shadows of the unlighted room behind her
she suggested to his imagination, in her pale and slender beauty, a
moon's ray--the night seemed lighter for her coming.
"Please sit down again," she said without moving.
"But I can't sit while you stand," he returned. "Come and take my
chair."
"Thank you; but if I wanted to sit I should bring a chair with me--there
is one at my back. If you won't sit down again you will oblige me to go
in."
He resumed his seat with a promptness which was a sufficient guarantee
of his unwillingness to provoke her into acting as she proposed, and at
the same time he moved it so that without turning he could see her where
she stood. He rather liked to see her there so close to him in the
dusk. It was immaterial whether she talked; to sit and watch her was so
good in itself. But Honor did not remain silent long.
"What do you think of our Karroo nights?" she asked in her quiet,
intense voice.
"You have put a difficult question," he returned. "It is so impossible
to express what one feels without seeming extravagant. A night like
this is--just wonderful. There's something... I can't put it into
words... it grips."
She smiled suddenly and leaned forward looking into the night.
"I have a feeling when I stand here," she said, "and look away across
the veld into the deep purple and primrose of the evening sky, that I am
gazing into the heart of Africa--a heart which opens and reveals many
things. The past unfolds like a picture before the mind. I wonder if
you will ever see into the heart of the veld? ... I wonder whether any
Englishman could look so deep?"
"But surely," he protested, "many Englishmen have loved this land?"
"Coveted, not loved," she insisted. "Does one ever hurt what one
loves?"
In his surprise he forgot that the speaker was herself partly English,
that her mother, a silent listener to their talk, was a compatriot of
his own. His patriotism was aroused by this aspersion; as the sole
representative of his country, he was bound to meet and repudiate it.
"I think your attack is most unjust," he said, a shade of resentment in
his tones. "If you reflect a while I believe you will admit as much.
Great Britain has done more for this country than any other nation."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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