The Shadow of the PastYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Shadow of the Past
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
"Not angry," he contradicted, and rose, moved, not so much by a desire
to stand, as a feeling that he wanted to be more on a level with her,
wanted to face her on equal ground; seated he was at a disadvantage.
"What you have said has given food for thought I'd no idea; ... One
doesn't think enough about these things. It's only when one comes face
to face with it that one gets a sense of what lies beneath the surface.
We are too easily satisfied with a superficial view. One should look
deeper."
Honor's arm fell from her mother's neck and hung at her side. She did
not move nearer, but she turned more directly towards him.
"You will look deeper," she said with conviction.
Suddenly a smile broke over her face.
"I have shown you something of the tragedy of the veld," she added.
"To-morrow, if you are willing to rise with the sun, I will show you
something of its beauty and its charm. The Karroo is at its best when
the day is young."
If he were willing... He would have risen in advance of the sun to have
set forth in her company on any quest.
CHAPTER ELEVEN.
When he went to his room that night Matheson was in too great a state of
excitement to sleep. For some time he made no show of seeking the
enveloping couch prepared for him by Honor's capable hands, but remained
at the open window looking out at the dark quiet beauty of the night,
less in contemplation of the scene that stretched its uncertain outline
to the far horizon than in a retrospective reverie, during which not
only all that the Dutch girl had said, but all the concentrated
bitterness of voice and expression, came back to him with the
disconcerting effect of a blow which he could neither avoid nor return.
She had struck at him deliberately with intent to wound, and she had
succeeded in that, and something more--she had succeeded in interesting
him enormously.
In any circumstances he would have admired her; but it was something
deeper than admiration she awoke in him, something more vital in
quality, something which gripped and disquieted and provoked
surprisingly, seeming part of the fierce passionate nature of the
country, part of its unrestraint, its intensity, its rugged honesty. No
woman had ever roused in him emotions so profound.
He was immeasurably perplexed and perturbed, and extraordinarily
curious. One thing seemed fairly certain as an outcome of this visit to
Benauwdheidfontein with its altogether unforeseen results; he would not
leave this farm on the Karroo, to which he had journeyed against his
inclination on an errand of doubtful honesty, unchanged by his
experiences. He felt while he stood at the window and considered these
things that his whole outlook on life was altering, and in the
transition stage was altogether out of focus. Odd that in a few hours a
man's view of life should change.
He turned away from the window and undressed slowly and climbed into
bed, where he lay fretting in uneasy wakefulness on his mountain of
feathers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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