The Shadow On The Dial, and Other Essays: 1909Bierce, Ambrose
Philosophy
The Shadow On The Dial, and Other Essays: 1909
Bierce, Ambrose
Essays
As long as there exists the right of appeal there is a chance of
acquittal. Otherwise the right of appeal would be a sham and an insult
more intolerable, even, than that of the man convicted of murder to say
why he should not receive the sentence which nothing he may say will
avert. So long as acquittal may ensue guilt is not established. Why,
than are men sentenced before they are proved guilty? Why are they
punished in the middle of proceedings against them? A lawyer can reply
to these questions in a thousand ingenious ways; there is but one
answer. It is because we are a barbarous race, submitting to laws made
by lawyers for lawyers. Let the "legal fraternity" reflect that a lawyer
is one whose profession it is to circumvent the law; that it is a
part of his business to mislead and befog the court of which he is an
officer; that it is considered right and reasonable for him to live by
a division of the spoils of crime and misdemeanor; that the utmost
atonement he ever makes for acquitting a man whom he knows to be guilty
is to convict a man whom he knows to be innocent. I have looked into
this thing a bit and it is my judgment that all the methods of our
courts, and the traditions of bench and bar exist and are perpetuated,
altered and improved, for the one purpose of enabling the lawyers as a
class to exact the greatest amount of money from the rest of mankind.
The laws are mostly made by lawyers, and so made as to encourage and
compel litigation. By lawyers they are interpreted and by lawyers
enforced for their own profit and advantage. The whole intricate and
interminable machinery of precedent, rulings, decisions, objections,
writs of error, motions for new trials, appeals, reversals, affirmations
and the rest of it, is a transparent and iniquitous systems of
"cinching." What remedy would I propose? None. There is none to propose.
The lawyers have "got us" and they mean to keep us. But if thoughtless
children of the frontier sometimes rise to tar and feather the legal
pelt may God's grace go with them and amen. I do not believe there is a
lawyer in Heaven, but by a bath of tar and a coating of hen's-down they
can be made to resemble angels more nearly than by any other process.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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