PAGE: That’s Romeo’s wife, Juliet Capulet that was; for a run-away match I hear they’re very happy. Enter Titania. FORD: There’s a woman I cannot understand. She seems ever to dwell in a sort of Midsummer Night’s Dream. Enter Ophelia. PAGE: That girl gives me the shivers, tho some say she makes a fine wife to that melancholy Dane named Hamlet. Enter Cleopatra. (Regally attired in Egyptian draperies) FORD: My word! ’Tis well our husbands are not here, that woman is a vampire. (Enter in numbers minor characters and take seats, much chatting, laughing, etc., until) Enter Lady Macbeth. (All rise and bow, she takes seat at center of table and raps) The meeting comes to order. LADY MACBETH: (rising and speaking with much dignity) Ladies of the Shakespeare Garden Club: We have a long and arduous meeting before us. Do I impose too much upon the milk of human kindness when I beg that the minutes of the previous meeting be omitted? PORTIA: (Jumping to her feet) I do protest, Madam, there is no power in Stratford that can alter a decree established. KATHERINE: How now! Must we listen to the law again to-day, Portia? Go to--let’s get on! LADY MACBETH: Oh well, what were done, when ’tis done then ’twere well it were done quickly. Madam Secretary--the minutes. PORTIA: (reading) The 12th meeting of the Shakespeare Garden Club was held on March 15th (interruption from a member) Oh the Ides of March! The Ides of March. (grows faint and is fanned by companions.) MISTRESS PAGE: Poor soul, that is Caesar’s wife. PORTIA: (continues) The meeting was at the home of Juliet Montague and was addressed by Will Shakespeare himself, who hath told us in strong words of the unsightly condition of the banks of the River Avon. Willow trees uprooted, old rushes strewn about; broken flagons, and stray odds and ends of all unsavory things, even unto defunct felines, lie on the edge of our lovely waterway, and it was urged by our most beloved leader that this Club take the matter in hand and clear away the filth and grow Plants, Flowers and Fruits along the river’s banks. ’Twas moved by Desdemona, seconded by Rosalind, and carried that our Garden Club should attend unto this work. LADY MACBETH: (rising) Enough! Thus thou must do, if thou’d have it, let us hear what our members have in mind. PORTIA: Madam President, there is more to read. JESSICA: Sit you down, Portia, and let me read my report upon the ducats in our treasury. PORTIA: Jessica, thou art indeed thy father’s child. Shylock ever thought upon the ducats. LADY MACBETH: Ladies, enough of this. Ambition for our Club is our dear wish. Let’s on with business. Who hath considered this matter and can name some fair flowers to carpet Avon’s banks? (looks about questioningly, a member rises) Ah Titania!