"Surely, _surely_, Jud, it is for the best. I know you can't take me
now, but you can come after me some day, and then I'll know that I have
lost nothing by letting you go. You will be a great--you _will_
succeed! Why, Jud, you draw better than any one I ever knew about.
Your pictures even now are better than any I have ever seen. They
can't help liking you in Chicago. You must go--you must, Jud!" She
was talking rapidly, excitedly.
"You love me so much that you are blind, dear. Up in Chicago they have
thousands of artists who are better than I am, and they are starving.
Wait a minute! Suppose I should fail! Suppose they should laugh at me
and I couldn't get work. What then? I have no money, no friends up
there. If I don't get on, what is to become of me? Did you ever think
of that?"
"Haven't you me and the little farm to come back to, Jud? I'll be here
and I'll love you more than ever. And I'll die here on this old place
with you beside me, and never be sorry that you couldn't do for me
everything you wish," she said solemnly. Then she went on quickly:
"But you won't fail--you can't, Jud, you can't. Don't you remember
what pretty Miss Wood said about your work? Well, didn't she know? Of
course, she did. She _lives_ in Chicago and she knows."
"If I knew where to find her or write to her, she might help me," said
he, a new animation in his voice. "But there's no one I can write to.
I don't know how to go about it."
"Go about it like other boys have done. Lots of them have gone out
into the world and won their way. Now, Jud, when will you go?"
The moment of decision came too suddenly. He was not ready to meet it.
"I--I--oh, we can talk about this later on," he faltered.
"We must settle it now."
"Do you want me to go?" he asked after a moment.
"Yes, I do, Jud."
"How queer you are! I'd rather die than leave you, and yet you want me
to go away from you," he said inconsistently.
"Don't say that! I love you better than my life! Don't you see that
is why I want you to go? It is because I love you so, oh, so much, and
I know it is for the best. It's not like losing you altogether. We'll
be with each other soon, I know. You can come home to see me every
once in awhile, don't you see? And then, when you feel that you can do
so, you will take your poor little country girl into the great city to
live with you. You'll be great, then; will you be ashamed of me?"
"Ashamed of you!" he cried.
For a long time he held her in his arms in the twilight, and pleaded
with her to let him remain. To her courage, to the breaking of her
heart, was due the step which started him out into the world to seek
his fortune and hers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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