The Shriek: A Satirical BurlesqueSomerville, Charles
General
The Shriek: A Satirical Burlesque
Somerville, Charles
Hull, E. M. (Edith Maude). Sheik -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Satire
When he would have staggered blindly up from the cushions she was on
him with a whirlwind of left and right hand hooks. Then came jabs,
swings, swats, wallops, biffs and bangs! And hammerlocks, half
Nelsons, strangle and toe-holds! This way and that!
All Tawd and the other fellows had ever taught her she was using. She
wouldn't leave enough of him to crawl through a rat-hole.
A vamp of violence and vengeance working at top form was then Verbeena
Mayonnaise!
"Spaghetti!" squealed the Sheik Amut ardently.
His faithful servant's pallid face appeared in the flapway.
Only to see his august, beloved chieftain on all fours with Verbeena
just mounting his back.
"O, momma! O, polpetteenies!" gasped Spaghetti.
"You keep out of this, Mac, or you'll get yours!" warned the fightin'
flapper with flashing eyes which shone from her face.
"Sapristi, Queena Verbeena! Escusa! I come only to maka aska what you
lika for eata? What da nica, sweeta lady she lika for deener, eh?"
"_Duck!_" said Verbeena.
Silently, swiftly the perfect servant withdrew.
The while Verbeena had not for an instant paused in massaging Sheik
Amut. She was all dressed, you remember, for riding and when she got
on the back of the once proud devil of the desert she gave him the
spurs.
And then the hat-pin.
His screams to Allah could have been heard in Mecca. His wild horses
strained at their tethers, neighing piteously at the frightful cries
arising from the canvas abbatoir that had once been the happy bachelor
apartments of the Sheik Amut Ben Butler.
The humps of the camels grew pale with fright and misery.
The swash-buckling horde of Amut's men, after getting what strings of
information they could from the gasping Spaghetti, took to the palm
trees from whence they tried to make it plain to Allah that their
beloved master had gone up against a _sheitana_, which the same is a
lady devil of the first water, and that really something should be
done to save him but that nothing--nothing short of heaven could
really avail.
Meanwhile, the proud Verbeena just roweled that lofty, haughty boy to
rags.
And ever, ever, ever, ever, always the hatpin! The more he reared to
plunge the fairer the mark.
Truly now had he become what first she had called him--a Shriek. But
as not less than a thousand shrieks sounded the plentifully punctured
passionut of the Sahara!
Besides ordinary damage his proud soul goosefleshed with horror.
His hauteur became hiatic.
And yet--and yet how wonderful she was!
_What a marvelously active Verbie!_
He felt the stirrings in his heart of a love, ponderose, grandiose,
glamorous, stupendous!
It was indeed very dominant in his veins just about the time she
slammed him back on the cushions and slapped his face for him good.
Her vibrant tones in spite of the inner cries of protest of his
desiccated manhood he found adorable as to him then she said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account