The Shriek: A Satirical BurlesqueSomerville, Charles
General
The Shriek: A Satirical Burlesque
Somerville, Charles
Hull, E. M. (Edith Maude). Sheik -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Satire
"The truth now," said the distinguished novelist, "is on the point of
bursting forth!
"Amut is that woman's son!"
"Mr. Hitchings!"
"I don't wonder that you are surprised. Amut was too when he heard
it. We all were! You see my father was in America at the time and the
Sheik was in China and so they met. By the same chain of
circumstances, Amut and I were both educated in Siberia. You
understand? But even if you don't, I don't either. Still it is
explanatory, is it not?"
"Mr. Hitchings!"
"Beg pardon."
"Let me get you a fresh green carnation."
She pinned it on him. They grow freely in the desert.
But she said emphatically:
"The story, sir, is wholly unworthy of you."
"Good heavens!" said Mr. Hitchings in ineffable alarm. "This isn't my
stuff! How could you think it? How ridiculous of me to have permitted
myself to be persuaded by Amut to try and put this over! I regret the
attempt abysmally. Right now, hear me, fair lady: I wash my hands of
the Hull thing!"
"Friendship may excuse this conduct of yours," said Verbeena coldly.
"But how, if you are also English, is it that Amut makes a friend of
you?"
"Now, there's something else again, isn't it? Just as if a rebellious
Sheik around here for an instant would make a bosom friend of a
Frenchman. It's a desperately silly story all the way through and I
surely apologize and--O--what?"
Verbeena had seized both hands and just wouldn't let go.
"Forget it," she was saying. "I've something much more important."
Her eyes flamed.
"Will you--O, will you, my dear Mr. Hitchings, do a moving picture for
me?"
"I most certainly will," replied Mr. Hitchings, "immediately--of a man
packing his grip."
"But I beg of you, who is he? For God's sake, listen to a woman's
plea! Solve this mystery of me lord's true identity!"
By this time, however, Mr. Hitchings had engaged the drawing room of a
camel and was navigating the Sahara by means of the good, old,
honorable North Star.
CHAPTER XI
Mr. Hitchings was in such a hurry hurtling off the Sahara with a
broken climax that he left some things behind.
There were two collar buttons, a large piece of dignity and a
newspaper clipping.
The collar buttons Verbeena knew she would be able to use, she kicked
the lost dignity aside but stood interested in the newspaper clipping.
Logically too. It was about her.
"MISS MAYONNAISE MUCHLY MISSING."
Such was the headline in the Biscuit _Bismallah_.
And the article went on to say:
"The world is in stupendous alarm over the disappearance of
Miss Verbeena Mayonnaise who left the Hotel Biscuit here
without her bacon and eggs more than a month ago or giving the
clerk her forwarding address. She even forgot to pay her bill.
"Her intention was to take a jaunty junket into the far wild
places of the Sahara and it would appear that she has.
"Not a squeak has been heard from Miss Mayonnaise since.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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