"I have the honour to inform you that Mademoiselle Héninghem, gate-keeper at Hondezeele, complains of the following facts: the English soldiers camped along the railway line are in the habit of performing their ablutions in the open air, which is a shocking sight for the lady in question, who, from the nature of her work, cannot avoid seeing them. I shall be obliged if you will give orders that this regrettable state of affairs shall be put a stop to as soon as possible." (Signature.) (Seal.) "From the Military Superintendent of the Station at B—— to the Superintendent W—— "Transmitted to the proper quarter." (Signed.) (Seal.) "The Superintendent W—— to the D.A.D.R.T. "I shall be obliged if you will give orders that the camp in question be surrounded with a fence of sufficient thickness to render the visibility at fifty yards’ distance practically nil." "That last man," said Aurelle, "is a polytechnician." The padre asked what that was. "A polytechnician is a man who believes that all beings, alive or dead, can be precisely defined and submitted to an algebraic calculation. A polytechnician puts, on the same plane, victory, a tempest, and love. I knew one who, commanding a fortress and having to draw up some orders in case of aerial attack, began thus: ’The Fortress of X—— will be attacked by an aerial engine when a vertical line from the engine to the earth finds the centre of the fortification,’ and so on." "Do not abuse the Polytechnic, Aurelle," said the doctor. "It is the most original of your institutions and the best. The personal cult of Napoleon is so well preserved that each year France presents two hundred Lieutenant Bonapartes to the astonished Government." "Go on translating, messiou," said the colonel. "D.A.D.R.T. to the Superintendent. "This does not concern me but a division that is resting. You must address your claim to the A.G. by the intermediary of the French Mission." (Signed.) (Seal.) "Superintendent —— to the Base Commandant G.H.Q. "I have the honour to forward herewith, for any action you consider necessary, a Memorandum concerning a complaint from Mademoiselle Héninghem of Hondezeele." (Signed.) (Seal.) And so it went on: Base Commandant to the French Mission; French Mission to the Adjutant-General; A.G. to the Army; Army to the Corps; Division to the Brigade; Brigade to the Colonel of the Lennox Highlanders. And it was signed with illustrious names, Colonel, Chief Staff Officer for the General, Brigadier, Major-General; thus the modest scruples of Mademoiselle Héninghem of Hondezeele were clothed, in the course of a long journey, with purple, gold and glory. "This is a tiresome business," said Colonel Bramble solemnly. "Parker, answer it, will you, like a good chap." The major wrote for several minutes, then read out: