Exerting all his force of will, he pulls himself up and pushes open a
window. But even this brings no calm, no relief. A very chaos of
fragrance wafts up to him from the garden--the wind breathes hotly upon
him, lukewarm, tingling drops of rain beat upon his face. Down in the
village the fires from the tar-barrels shoot fitfully through the
nebulous clouds of mist veiling the distance.
Johannes looks down. He is waiting. His heart is beating audibly. His
longing appears to him almighty--he will force that window below to
open and ... hark! Softly the latch is pushed back, one sash is thrown
open, and there, leaning far out, framed by waving unbound tresses,
Trude's face appears, straining upwards to him with mute yearning.
One moment--then it has vanished. He knows not--shall he exult, or
shall he weep?--Now he may sink into sweet unconsciousness--What can
the fragrance harm him now?
He undresses and goes to bed; but before he drops to sleep he once more
raises himself up, gropes with a trembling hand for the vase, and
buries his face in the flowers.
How like it all is to that first evening, and yet how different! Then
he was peaceful and happy; now ...
A suddenly awakened memory makes him start; his fingers clutch the
handle of the vase more tightly--he listens and listens--he feels as if
that merry laugh which then so softly sounded through the floor, must
at this moment again greet his ears--he listens with increasing fear
till his whole brain is humming and buzzing--an ugly feeling of hatred
and jealousy suddenly uprises within him; and, bursting into a wild
laugh, he hurls the vase far away into the middle of the room, where it
shatters with a crash.
Next morning Johannes is ashamed of himself. It all seems as if it had
been a bad dream. He collects the fragments of the vase, fits them
together and resolves to get some cement from the chemist and mend it.
Much as he considers the matter, he cannot explain the feeling which
prompted him to this act of apparent school-boy folly; he only knows
that it was something wicked and loathsome.
He presses his brother's hand more heartily than at other times and
gazes silently into his eyes as if to plead forgiveness for some grave
crime.
Trude looks pale and as if she had not slept. Her eyes avoid his, and
the cup of coffee which she hands him rattles in her trembling hand.
As he can find no better subject, he begins to talk about the dancing
shoes, wishing at the same time to sound Martin. He is quite agreeable.
Trude is to have her measure taken at once and when she objects to
taking off her shoes in Johannes' presence, he angrily calls her an
"affected little prude," She is offended, begins to cry and leaves the
room. Then towards evening she bashfully appears with her measure and
Johannes sends off his letter. The broken vase still weighs heavily on
his conscience. When he is alone with her he confesses.
"I say, I've done a clumsy thing."
"What?"
"I have smashed a vase."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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