I very earnestly desire to thank my critics one and all for the attention they have bestowed upon me. They have taken me very seriously; much more seriously than I have taken myself. I am so little "peculiar," that I confess to have copied the phraseology of my diatribes on certain poets and novelists from the language of the "reviews" in divers journals, and I am truly surprised to hear such phraseology termed "vulgar." When I was a "known" author (I was, once!) reviewers "reviewed" _me_ with a profuseness of vituperative force that struck me as singular; but I did not presume to call their well-rounded terms of abuse "vulgar" or "scurrilous." Now I see I might very well have done so, as they all agree in a condemnation of their own literary vernacular. One lives and learns (this is a platitude), and when an author anonymously "slates" those who anonymously "slate" him, it is curious and instructive to observe what a different view is taken of his case! It is a strange world (platitude number two). In conclusion I would fain express my gratitude for the diverting entertainment which I have had out of the various "guesses" as to my identity. They are guesses as wild and strange and erroneous as any that ever followed the track of a "domino noir" through the mazes of Carnival. I can, however, only repeat that I am not what I seem, and that up to the present, so far as my personality has been hinted at, or even boldly asserted, such supposititious "clues" are all random shots and fall wide of the mark. With the utmost civility, I beg to inform you, dear friends and enemies alike, that in this trivial matter of "guessing," you are all, every one of you,--wrong! THE SILVER DOMINO. _Nov. 9th, 1892._ CONTENTS PAGE I. OPENETH DISCOURSE 3 II. SOLILOQUISETH ON LITTLE MANNERS 23 III. PRONOUNCETH ON LESSER MORALS 43 IV. OF SAVAGES AND SKELETONS 59 V. HOW NAMES ARE SUPERIOR TO PERSONS 79 VI. CONVERSETH WITH LORD SALISBURY 91 VII. CHATTETH WITH THE GRAND OLD MAN 109 VIII. OF THE TRUE JOURNALIST AND HIS CREED 127 IX. OF WRITERS IN GROOVES 137 X. OF THE SOCIAL ELEPHANT 165 XI. THE STORY OF A SOUTH AFRICAN DREAM 183 XII. QUESTIONETH CONCERNING THE SLOUGH OF DESPOND 197 XIII. DESCRIBETH THE PIOUS PUBLISHER 211 XIV. OF CERTAIN GREAT POETS 227 XV. OF MORE POETS 251 XVI. TO A MIGHTY GENIUS 267 XVII. CONCERNING A GREAT FRATERNITY 293 XVIII. EULOGISETH ANDREW 311 XIX. BYRON LOQUITUR 327