Authors -- Fiction; Canadian fiction; Impostors and imposture -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"I have done wrong," she cried to him, feverishly; "I have made
mistakes, and I have suffered, and grown wise! But see, through it all,
how humble I have come to be! See how I crawl back to you! It was all
vile, that old life of mine, I know!--but I only stumbled into it at
first, by the littlest, most miserable chance; and I had to keep it up,
to the end! And you couldn't understand that old, ceaseless craving for
what it brought, and how the passion for that world they thrust me into
made me half-blind and half-drunk, and how I had to keep on, and on, and
on!"
She tried to draw his face down to her own.
"If you knew what, or how, I have suffered! If you only knew--you'd
forgive me! If you could understand how I love you now you would take me
back, you would say that never in all the world would you find another
love like mine! Oh, it isn't too late! It isn't too late! We have our
lives still before us; we have both been living on the north side of
life too long; we have been missing all the sun, and warmth, and color.
And you can save me from myself; you were saving me from myself! With
you I could begin over again, from the first!"
He broke away from her then, with a vehemence that she had not looked
for in him, but still she went on, feverishly: "Oh, you are strong,
where I am faltering and weak. I _want_ to be honest, and good, and
upright--but from the first they wouldn't let me! Oh, they wouldn't let
me!"
"You have lied to me!" he cried out to her, harshly. "You lied to me
from the first. You lied to me in the very hour when I asked you for all
your open trust. Your life has been a lie! You are a lie--a living lie!"
She tried to muffle the words with her hand, but his passion swept him
on.
"What you are now you'll be to the end! You have gone through life a
cheat, an impostor, and you'll be one to the last! Even now you are
acting a lie, even _now_, with me!"
He knew it was not the truth he spoke, but he felt safer after flinging
it at her.
"No, no," she cried back. "_This_ is no lie! What woman would come and
say what I have said? I couldn't ever act a part with you! I have no one
but you--I have no one but you!"
As he flung her from him, in his own sudden terror of himself, she fell
back and crouched on his trunk, rocking her frail body weakly back and
forth, and sobbing over and over again: "Let me go back with you! Oh,
have mercy on me, my own, and let me go back with you!"
Then she crept up to him on her knees, and clung to him with her thin,
white hands, her eyes streaming with tears.
"I have friends," she went on, hysterically. "I have power and
influence! I will work for you; I will slave for you! I will help you
on, to the end; I will _make_ you, my own! Only _love_ me, love me! I
need your love! You have taught me what it means, and I must have it!
See, see how humbled I am, here, on my knees to you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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