"Why couldn't you have come in five minutes later?" he cried out, with
queer petulance.
The Doctor tottered forward and peered into his son's face. "Why were
you going to do that? Tell me, tell me!"
"You'd have found it all there," said Peter, pointing to the pages which
he had left on the desk. "Not very nice reading, I can assure you. But
if you want me to tell you instead, I will. And then you can see how a
man dies, instead of finding him dead. Perhaps this is the best way,
after all."
He went to the door and locked it, still holding the revolver. The sight
of his father did not stir any pity or sympathy in his heart. On the
contrary, it added to the fever that had attacked his brain and acted as
an irritant. He went back and stood in front of the grey man. There was
an expression of contempt on his altered face. The pattering of heavy
rain against the windows seemed to please him. Nature, like himself,
seemed to have burst into open protest.
"Sit down," he said.
The Doctor obeyed. The blaze in his son's eyes contradicted his
unnatural calmness. He had to deal with temporary madness. He could see
that, and he was chilled with a sense of impending danger in which the
most poignant solicitude was mixed.
"Now," said Peter, weighing his words with odd deliberation, "you're
going to hear something that'll shake you out of your smug
self-complacency and your pitiful belief that everything is all right in
this house--You're a good man, a better man than the average father.
There's nothing in your life that isn't to your credit. Even since you
had children you've worked like a dog to give them a better education
than you had, and you've gone without things to provide us with money
and make things easy. We all know that and we're grateful. We all know
that we ought to be proud of you as a doctor--as a man who has made
discoveries and added to the scientific knowledge of your profession.
Well, we _are_ proud of you. But in the last words that you'll hear me
speak I'm going to tell you what you've failed to do and why, in spite
of all your kindness and unselfishness, not one of your children
respects you or loves you, and why I, your eldest son, have got to put
an end to myself because of your neglect."
Dr. Guthrie sprang to his feet. The calculated cruelty of this
indictment was more than he could endure. "What does this mean? If you
don't respect and love me, the others do. In what way have I neglected
you?" He stood up to Peter like a man, whipped into sudden anger.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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