Produced by David Widger
THE SLANDERER
By Anton Chekhov
Translated by Herman Bernstein.
Copyright, 1901, by the Globe and Commercial Advertiser
Sergey Kapitonlch Akhineyev, the teacher of calligraphy, gave his
daughter Natalya in marriage to the teacher of history and geography,
Ivan Petrovich Loshadinikh. The wedding feast went on swimmingly. They
sang, played, and danced in the parlor. Waiters, hired for the occasion
from the club, bustled about hither and thither like madmen, in black
frock coats and soiled white neckties. A loud noise of voices smote the
air. From the outside people looked in at the windows;--their social
standing gave them no right to enter.
Just at midnight the host, Akhineyev, made his way to the kitchen to see
whether everything was ready for the supper. The kitchen was filled with
smoke from the floor to the ceiling; the smoke reeked with the odors
of geese, ducks, and many other things. Victuals and beverages were
scattered about on two tables in artistic disorder. Marfa, the cook, a
stout, red-faced woman, was busying herself near the loaded tables.
“Show me the sturgeon, dear,” said Akhineyev, rubbing his hands and
licking his lips. “What a fine odor! I could just devour the whole
kitchen! Well, let me see the sturgeon!”
Marfa walked up to one of the benches and carefully lifted a greasy
newspaper. Beneath that paper, in a huge dish, lay a big fat sturgeon,
amid capers, olives, and carrots. Akhineyev glanced at the sturgeon and
heaved a sigh of relief. His face became radiant, his eyes rolled. He
bent down, and, smacking his lips, gave vent to a sound like a creaking
wheel. He stood a while, then snapped his fingers for pleasure, and
smacked his lips once more.
“Bah! The sound of a hearty kiss. Whom have you been kissing there,
Marfusha?” some one’s voice was heard from the adjoining room, and soon
the closely cropped head of Vankin, the assistant school instructor,
appeared in the doorway. “Whom have you been kissing here? A-a-ah! Very
good! Sergey Kapitonich! A fine old man indeed! With the female sex
tête-à-tête!”
“I wasn’t kissing at all,” said Akhineyev, confused; “who told you,
you fool? I only--smacked my lips on account of--in consideration of my
pleasure--at the sight of the fish.”
“Tell that to some one else, not to me!” exclaimed Vankin, whose face
expanded into a broad smile as he disappeared behind the door. Akhineyev
blushed.
“The devil knows what may be the outcome of this!” he thought. “He’ll go
about tale-bearing now, the rascal. He’ll disgrace me before the whole
town, the brute!”
Akhineyev entered the parlor timidly and cast furtive glances to see
what Vankin was doing. Vankin stood near the piano and, deftly bending
down, whispered something to the inspector’s sister-in-law, who was
laughing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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