England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Gossip -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Villages -- Fiction
IF sorrow and solitude go hand-in-hand, Joan Gildersedge indeed had
wedded the twain. Her life for years had been but a November repression
of the sunnier moods of childhood. The passionate red ore had been
hoarded in the dark, not squandered easily or tossed to every beggarly
cringe of chance. It was nature that had uncovered this same treasure.
Her hand had sprinkled on the childish bosom the blood of a thousand
roses. The flowers had touched her white feet with their dewy lips.
Wondrous alchemy, indeed! The gold of heaven, the red blood of earth,
the milk-white waxen flesh of the moor merged into one slim pillar of
virgin loveliness!
It was this same intense virginity of soul that caused Joan to respond
more deeply to the human refrain that had swept like strange music into
her life. She had escaped the sentimentalisms, the erotic
artificialities that mar so many women in the making. Vanity had no
acknowledged niche within her heart. She was a spontaneous being,
infinitely good by sheer beauty of instinct, unconsciously divine. She
had never had the ego emphasized in its meaner characteristics by
contact with individuals less generous than herself. Joan had served her
father with a quiet patience, not from love, which was indeed
impossible, but from a superabundant yet unconscious sense of duty. Her
strength was a fine spiritual energy, not the mere forcefulness of the
strenuous development of self, the arrogance of astute individualism
insisting upon a recognition of rights from monads of like impulse.
It was this same bright sensitiveness of soul that rendered this single
romance of hers the more tragic in its earlier season. Like some
world-worn wanderer the man had parted the boughs of spring and fallen
at her feet, weary of life, desirous only of some subtle Lethe. Her
heart had gone out to him from the first hour, spontaneously and without
forethought. She had ministered to him, giving him the waters of love
for comfort, pointing him onward to a happier dawn.
Thus when she had constituted herself the priestess of the man’s ideals,
her hidden oracle had condemned her to pronounce her own doom. That day
under the yews her fine self-abnegation had lifted her to queen it over
the pleadings of her own heart. For the man’s sake she had understood
the strong need of heroism. The sacrificial fire had been quenched upon
the altar. She had cast down her divining-rod, broken her magic ring in
twain, and returned mutely to her pristine solitude.
What depths of gloom the renunciation meant to her she never
comprehended till the first night came. Darkness, heavy, and without
dawn! Never to behold the man’s face again; nay, what was more, never to
feel her spirit mount with his into the azure of that sympathy that had
made earth heaven! There seemed a crass cruelty in the event, an
illogical malice that stunned her reason. Yet never in her heart did she
blame Gabriel for aught he had made her suffer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account