"Ah, Bell," he said, coming close up to her, "I wish you could
understand how I love you." And, as he spoke, his cousin
unconsciously recognized more of affection in his tone, and less of
that spirit of bargaining which had seemed to pervade all his former
pleas, than she had ever found before.
"And do I not love you? Have I not offered to be to you in all
respects as a sister?"
"That is nothing. Such an offer to me now is simply laughing at me.
Bell, I tell you what,--I will not give you up. The fact is, you do
not know me yet,--not know me as you must know any man before you
choose him for your husband. You and Lily are not alike in this.
You are cautious, doubtful of yourself, and perhaps, also, somewhat
doubtful of others. My heart is set upon this, and I shall still try
to succeed."
"Ah, Bernard, do not say that! Believe me, when I tell you that it
can never be."
"No; I will not believe you. I will not allow myself to be made
utterly wretched. I tell you fairly that I will not believe you. I
may surely hope if I choose to hope. No, Bell, I will never give you
up,--unless, indeed, I should see you become another man's wife."
As he said this, they all turned in through the squire's gate, and
rode up to the yard in which it was their habit to dismount from
their horses.
CHAPTER XIV.
JOHN EAMES TAKES A WALK.
John Eames watched the party of cavaliers as they rode away from
his mother's door, and then started upon a solitary walk, as soon
as the noise of the horses' hoofs had passed away out of the street.
He was by no means happy in his mind as he did so. Indeed, he was
overwhelmed with care and trouble, and as he went along very gloomy
thoughts passed through his mind. Had he not better go to Australia,
or Vancouver's Island, or--? I will not name the places which the
poor fellow suggested to himself as possible terminations of the long
journeys which he might not improbably be called upon to take. That
very day, just before the Dales had come in, he had received a second
letter from his darling Amelia, written very closely upon the heels
of the first. Why had he not answered her? Was he ill? Was he untrue?
No; she would not believe that, and therefore fell back upon the
probability of his illness. If it was so, she would rush down to
see him. Nothing on earth should keep her from the bedside of her
betrothed. If she did not get an answer from her beloved John by
return of post, she would be down with him at Guestwick by the
express train. Here was a position for such a young man as John
Eames! And of Amelia Roper we may say that she was a young woman who
would not give up her game, as long as the least chance remained of
her winning it. "I must go somewhere," John said to himself, as he
put on his slouched hat and wandered forth through the back streets
of Guestwick. What would his mother say when she heard of Amelia
Roper? What would she say when she saw her?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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