He walked away towards the Manor, so that he might roam about the
Guestwick woods in solitude. There was a path with a stile, leading
off from the high road, about half a mile beyond the lodges through
which the Dales had ridden up to the house, and by this path John
Eames turned in, and went away till he had left the Manor house
behind him, and was in the centre of the Guestwick woods. He knew
the whole ground well, having roamed there ever since he was first
allowed to go forth upon his walks alone. He had thought of Lily Dale
by the hour together, as he had lost himself among the oak-trees; but
in those former days he had thought of her with some pleasure. Now he
could only think of her as of one gone from him for ever; and then
he had also to think of her whom he had taken to himself in Lily's
place.
Young men, very young men,--men so young that it may be almost a
question whether or no they have as yet reached their manhood,--are
more inclined to be earnest and thoughtful when alone than they ever
are when with others, even though those others be their elders. I
fancy that, as we grow old ourselves, we are apt to forget that it
was so with us; and, forgetting it, we do not believe that it is
so with our children. We constantly talk of the thoughtlessness of
youth. I do not know whether we might not more appropriately speak of
its thoughtfulness. It is, however, no doubt, true that thought will
not at once produce wisdom. It may almost be a question whether such
wisdom as many of us have in our mature years has not come from the
dying out of the power of temptation, rather than as the results of
thought and resolution. Men, full fledged and at their work, are, for
the most part, too busy for much thought; but lads, on whom the work
of the world has not yet fallen with all its pressure,--they have
time for thinking.
And thus John Eames was thoughtful. They who knew him best accounted
him to be a gay, good-hearted, somewhat reckless young man, open to
temptation, but also open to good impressions; as to whom no great
success could be predicated, but of whom his friends might fairly
hope that he might so live as to bring upon them no disgrace and
not much trouble. But, above all things, they would have called him
thoughtless. In so calling him, they judged him wrong. He was ever
thinking,--thinking much of the world as it appeared to him, and of
himself as he appeared to the world; and thinking, also, of things
beyond the world. What was to be his fate here and hereafter? Lily
Dale was gone from him, and Amelia Roper was hanging round his neck
like a millstone! What, under such circumstances, was to be his fate
here and hereafter?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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