But Lily Dale had not yet been taught these lessons by her world's
experience, and she expected that this sweetest cup of which she had
ever drank should go on being sweet--sweeter and still sweeter--as
long as she could press it to her lips. How the dregs had come to
mix themselves with the last drops we have already seen; and on that
same day--on the Monday evening--the bitter task still remained; for
Crosbie, as they walked about through the gardens in the evening,
found other subjects on which he thought it necessary to give her
sundry hints, intended for her edification, which came to her with
much of the savour of a lecture. A girl, when she is thoroughly in
love, as surely was the case with Lily, likes to receive hints as
to her future life from the man to whom she is devoted; but she
would, I think, prefer that such hints should be short, and that the
lesson should be implied rather than declared;--that they should, in
fact, be hints and not lectures. Crosbie, who was a man of tact, who
understood the world and had been dealing with women for many years,
no doubt understood all this as well as we do. But he had come to
entertain a notion that he was an injured man, that he was giving
very much more than was to be given to him, and that therefore he
was entitled to take liberties which might not fairly be within
the reach of another lover. My reader will say that in all this he
was ungenerous. Well; he was ungenerous. I do not know that I have
ever said that much generosity was to be expected from him. He had
some principles of right and wrong under the guidance of which it
may perhaps be hoped that he will not go utterly astray; but his
past life had not been of a nature to make him unselfish. He was
ungenerous, and Lily felt it, though she would not acknowledge it
even to herself. She had been very open with him,--acknowledging the
depth of her love for him; telling him that he was now all in all to
her; that life without his love would be impossible to her: and in a
certain way he took advantage of these strong avowals, treating her
as though she were a creature utterly in his power;--as indeed she
was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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