And there was another reason which operated much with Crosbie, urging
him on in his present mood and wishes, though it should have given
an exactly opposite impulse to his heart. He had hesitated as to
marrying Lily Dale at once, because of the smallness of his income.
Now he had a prospect of considerable increase to that income.
One of the commissioners at his office had been promoted to some
greater commissionership, and it was understood by everybody that
the secretary at the General Committee Office would be the new
commissioner. As to that there was no doubt. But then the question
had arisen as to the place of secretary. Crosbie had received two or
three letters on the subject, and it seemed that the likelihood of
his obtaining this step in the world was by no means slight. It would
increase his official income from seven hundred a year to twelve, and
would place him altogether above the world. His friend, the present
secretary, had written to him, assuring him that no other probable
competitor was spoken of as being in the field against him. If such
good fortune awaited him, would it not smooth any present difficulty
which lay in the way of his marriage with Lily Dale? But, alas, he
had not looked at the matter in that light! Might not the countess
help him to this preferment? And if his destiny intended for him
the good things of this world,--secretaryships, commissionerships,
chairmanships, and such like, would it not be well that he should
struggle on in his upward path by such assistance as good connections
might give him?
He sat thinking over it all in his own room on that evening. He had
written twice to Lily since his arrival at Courcy Castle. His first
letter has been given. His second was written much in the same tone;
though Lily, as she had read it, had unconsciously felt somewhat
less satisfied than she had been with the first. Expressions of
love were not wanting, but they were vague and without heartiness.
They savoured of insincerity, though there was nothing in the words
themselves to convict them. Few liars can lie with the full roundness
and self-sufficiency of truth; and Crosbie, bad as he was, had not
yet become bad enough to reach that perfection. He had said nothing
to Lily of the hopes of promotion which had been opened to him; but
he had again spoken of his own worldliness--acknowledging that he
received an unsatisfying satisfaction from the pomps and vanities of
Courcy Castle. In fact he was paving the way for that which he had
almost resolved that he would do, now he had told Lady Alexandrina
that he loved her; and he was obliged to confess to himself that the
die was cast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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