They were very intimate with each other now,--these four. It was
Bernard and Adolphus, or sometimes Apollo, and Bell and Lily among
them; and Crosbie found it to be pleasant enough. A new position
of life had come upon him, and one exceeding pleasant; but,
nevertheless, there were moments in which cold fits of a melancholy
nature came upon him. He was doing the very thing which throughout
all the years of his manhood he had declared to himself that he
would not do. According to his plan of life he was to have eschewed
marriage, and to have allowed himself to regard it as a possible
event only under the circumstances of wealth, rank, and beauty all
coming in his way together. As he had expected no such glorious
prize, he had regarded himself as a man who would reign at the
Beaufort and be potent at Sebright's to the end of his chapter. But
now--
It was the fact that he had fallen from his settled position,
vanquished by a silver voice, a pretty wit, and a pair of moderately
bright eyes. He was very fond of Lily, having in truth a stronger
capability for falling in love than his friend Captain Dale; but was
the sacrifice worth his while? This was the question which he asked
himself in those melancholy moments; while he was lying in bed,
for instance, awake in the morning, when he was shaving himself,
and sometimes also when the squire was prosy after dinner. At
such times as these, while he would be listening to Mr. Dale, his
self-reproaches would sometimes be very bitter. Why should he undergo
this, he, Crosbie of Sebright's, Crosbie of the General Committee
Office, Crosbie who would allow no one to bore him between Charing
Cross and the far end of Bayswater,--why should he listen to the
long-winded stories of such a one as Squire Dale? If, indeed, the
squire intended to be liberal to his niece, then it might be very
well. But as yet the squire had given no sign of such intention, and
Crosbie was angry with himself in that he had not had the courage to
ask a question on that subject.
And thus the course of love was not all smooth to our Apollo. It was
still pleasant for him when he was there on the croquet ground, or
sitting in Mrs. Dale's drawing-room with all the privileges of an
accepted lover. It was pleasant to him also as he sipped the squire's
claret, knowing that his coffee would soon be handed to him by a
sweet girl who would have tripped across the two gardens on purpose
to perform for him this service. There is nothing pleasanter than all
this, although a man when so treated does feel himself to look like a
calf at the altar, ready for the knife, with blue ribbons round his
horns and neck. Crosbie felt that he was such a calf,--and the more
calf-like, in that he had not as yet dared to ask a question about
his wife's fortune. "I will have it out of the old fellow this
evening," he said to himself, as he buttoned on his dandy shooting
gaiters that morning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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