The Smart Set: Correspondence & Conversations — John Shaqi
The Smart Set: Correspondence & ConversationsFitch, Clyde
General
The Smart Set: Correspondence & Conversations
Fitch, Clyde
Conversation -- Fiction; Imaginary letters; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
one would have been ashamed to drive in the park with her (at home),
unless she was placarded. Now and then somebody decent from New York or
Boston arrived on a morning train, but, of course, they usually left in
the evening, driven away by the glare, or the white dust, or by the
eternal tourists. That man Cook has done more to spoil attractive
places than any other dozen people in the world put together.
Sometimes, of course, they are amusing. One day I went to see the Lion!
Don't laugh. John bet me five hundred dollars I wouldn't go. So, of
course, I did. Fortunately I'd heard the children explaining it or I
shouldn't have enjoyed so much the following joke.
A woman and her daughter, both Cooks, (tourists I mean, of course, tho'
heaven knows what the mother mightn't have been at home), stood in
front of the monument.
"What's this, Clara?" asked the older woman.
CLARA.
Why this is the famous Lion of Lucerne, mother!
MOTHER.
Oh is it, ain't it lovely! What's it for--I mean why is it?
CLARA.
Why, you know, mother, for defending poor Marie Antoinette in the
Tuilleries!
MOTHER.
Oh, did it! And then people say lions are such nasty, heartless
creatures.
CLARA.
(Laughing.) O mother! the lion didn't do it; it's only put up for a
monument to the soldiers who died trying to protect her from the mob!
MOTHER.
Oh, I see; it's just a fancy picture! Well, anyway, I think it's awful
sad.
* * * * *
What do you think of that? And those are the kind of people Switzerland
was full of. Some were alone, and some were impersonally conducted in a
very loose sort of way. Wherever you wanted to go they were sure to be
ahead, and kicking up a middle-class dust that choked you. The loud
sound of their incessant _talk_ echoed from snow peak to snow peak. And
their terrible clothes, chosen evidently "not to show the dirt" (but
they did), came between your eyes and any beauty of scenery there might
be, even if you cared to see it, and I didn't. And then the droves of
rich Americans at the hotels! Where did they come from? Where did they
learn how not to dress? Where did they learn how not to behave? Those
are the questions I asked myself continually, and always gave them up!
I became so tired of hearing of Pilatus and the Rigi, I felt as if one
were at the head of my grave and the other at the foot! I had a sort of
indigestion of mountains and lakes! And there was John! rushing out
every other minute to sit and look at them (I assure you I was
threatened very much with the neuralgia from the damp of the lake
terrace). And he climbed everything that was climbable, even preferred
walking up; but when there were railways I made him take them for fear
he'd hurt himself. I believe he went to the top of every blessed thing
that had any top! I found plenty of horrid people to look down on
without going to the tops of mountains. I tried to drive, but there
wasn't a decent turnout in the place. I went out in a little steam
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