The Smart Set: Correspondence & ConversationsFitch, Clyde
General
The Smart Set: Correspondence & Conversations
Fitch, Clyde
Conversation -- Fiction; Imaginary letters; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
No! Becky Twines' dress would ruin mine. And she made her maid give her
that one on purpose I'm sure, because she knew what I was going to
wear. But I don't care. I heard mama say, yesterday, her mother, in
spite of all her money, hadn't been able to buy her way into several
houses. I don't think she ought to have been invited to join our
dancing class at all. When people buy their way into other people's
houses like that, how do they do it do you suppose? Does the butler
sell tickets at the door, do you think?
TOM.
Perhaps so! Butlers look like that. My! I'd jolly like to be a butler!
(_They have moved on to another set._) Shall we stop here?
CLAIRE.
Oh, no, not here! Teddy Jones always mixes us up. He treads on our
toes.
TOM.
Yes, and squeezes the girls' hands, too.
CLAIRE.
Oh, that we don't mind! Would you like to sit this dance out on the
stairs? (_She would prefer it herself._)
TOM.
No, let's dance. Come on, this is a good place.
CLAIRE.
As you please. Do you like kissing games?
TOM.
(_Red in the face._) No; do you? (_He does._)
CLAIRE.
Oh, I don't mind. (_An embarrassed pause._)
TOM.
I like football and those kind of games.
CLAIRE.
They are all very well for boys. But I don't much care for games
myself, and, besides, I don't have the time.
TOM.
What do girls do with themselves all the time?
CLAIRE.
Oh! I have my lessons, and I walk out with my maid every morning, and I
dress three times a day, and then I have visits to make on other little
girls.
TOM.
You've got a new father, haven't you?
CLAIRE.
Yes, mama was married two weeks ago.
TOM.
How do you like him?
CLAIRE.
Oh, very much!
TOM.
You take my word for it, he's a brick. I know! He used to be my father
once.
[_The music starts up, and the couples bow._
II
_Birth_
ELSIE, _age 6_.
TERESA, _age 8_.
BOB, _age 7_.
(_They are sitting on the steps of the large piazza of a beautiful
country house, the two little girls affectionately close, the boy at an
awkward distance. There has been a pause in the conversation, which the
boy breaks._)
BOB.
We've got a new baby at our house!
(_Splendid effect!_)
ELSIE, TERESA.
(_Together._) Oh!
(_Their eyes are suddenly bright and their faces glow with a sort of
awed curiosity and pleasure, not unmixed with envy._)
ELSIE.
What kind?
TERESA.
(_Eagerly._) Yes; which is it?
BOB.
(_Proudly._) A boy, of course!
(_The two little girls' faces fall for a second, and they are silent,
but not for long._)
ELSIE.
Of course there have to be boys sometimes.
TERESA.
Yes, to make a change.
ELSIE.
Isn't it funny where babies come from!
BOB.
Yes, you find them in cabbages.
ELSIE.
Oh, no! They come down in rainstorms.
TERESA.
No, no! They come out of the flowers.
BOB.
Stuff!
ELSIE.
They do come from the skies, because you know the stars are little
babies waiting to be picked.
TERESA.
I thought the stars were the places where God put his fingers through.
BOB.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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