Sing high the white-arched woodland way, Resembling faëry halls! (Sing low the drifts that stay and stay, In which your motor stalls.) Sing high, sing low, sing jack and game, Sing Winter's spangled gown! (Let him who will these things acclaim-- _I'm_ moving in to town.) * * * Scratch a man who really enjoys zero weather, and you will find blubber. * * * Born in Sioux City, to Mr. and Mrs. Matt Hoss, a daughter. Who'll contribute a buggy? * * * "For Sale--1920 Mormon chummy."--Minneapolis Journal. Five-passenger at least. * * * THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP. Sir: In the Lowell (Mass.) Daily Journal and Courier, dated Feb. 4, 1853, I find the following: "What's in a name! The name of the superintendent of the Cincinnati Hospital is Queer Absalom Death." Thus showing that there were candidates for the Academy seventy years ago. Concord. * * * Some sort of jape or jingle might be chiseled from the fact that Lot Spry and Ida Smart were married t'other day in Vinton, Ia. * * * CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US. Proprietor of hotel in Keokuk, answering call from room: "Hello!" Voice: "We are in Room 30 and now ready to come down." Prop.: "Take the elevator down." Voice: "Is the elevator ready?" [Proprietor sends bellboy to Room 30 to escort newly-wedded couple to terra firma.] * * * "Weds 104th Veteran."--Springfield Republican. The first hundred veterans are the hardest. * * * For official announcer in the Academy, E. K. proposes James Hollerup of Endeavor, Wis. * * * SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT. Sir: At a party last night one of my sex read the recent buffoonery, "Heliogabalus," by the Smart Set editors. When the reader reached the choice second act one of the women (the bobbed hair type) refused to listen to any more of the "salacious rot," and walked over to the bookcase, from which, after careful study, she picked out Krafft-Ebing's Psychopathia Sexualis. I ask you, ain't women funny? Philardee. No, not in this instance. We quite sympathize with the lady. We much prefer Havelock Ellis to "Jurgen," for example. Chacun à son goût. * * * This peculiar and unliterary preference of ours may be due to the fact that once upon a time, in a country job-print, we were obliged to read the proofs of a great many medical works, made up largely of "Case 1, a young man of 28," "Case 2, a woman of thirty," etc. These things were instructive, and sometimes interesting. But when "Case 1" is expanded to a novel of three or four hundred pages, or "Case 2" expressed in the form of hectic vers libre, a feeling of lassitude comes o'er us which is more or less akin to pain. * * * THE COME-BACK.