P. S. Since writing the above, the order in question was received at this office--this morning. * * * THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE. Sir: The handle on the valve is missing, and I can't turn off the radiator. The room was hot, and I've had to "open wide the windows, open wide the door." The resultant draft has just brought a series of "kerchoos" out of me. Valve-handle sneezes, I called them. Sim Nic. * * * Miss Emily Davis weds Mrs. Charles Parmele.--Wilmington, N. C., Dispatch. Why don't the men propose, mama, why don't the men propose? * * * THE SANDS OF TIME. Whenever I observe a quartette of commuters at cards I regret that the hours I gave to mastering whist were not given instead to the study of Greek. * * * "The military salute," says our neighbor on the left, "is a courtesy of morale when it proceeds from one fighting man to another." This was impressed in 1918 upon a colored recruit who was hauled up for not saluting his s. o. His explanation was, "Ah thought you and me had got so well acquainted Ah didn't have to salute you no mo'." * * * THE TRUTH AT LAST! Sir: Socrates and Epictetus did not learn Greek at 81--they were Greeks. It was the Roman Cato who began to study Greek at 80. C. E. C. * * * Now that we all know it was neither Socrates nor Epictetus who learned Greek at 81 (because, you see, being Greeks they did not have to study the language), you may like to know something about Julius Cæsar. He was, narrates a high school paper, "the noblest of English kings. He learned Latin late in life in order to translate an ecclesiastical work into the vernaculary of the common people." * * * We are reminded by our learned friend, W. F. Y., that Socrates began at 64 to study English, but had to give it up as a bad job. "The fact," he says, "is interestingly set forth in Montefiori's 'Eccentricities of Genius.'" * * * The attitude of our universities and other quasi-educational institutions toward Greek is that 81 is the proper age for beginning the study of it. * * * Breathing defiance of the Eighteenth Amendment, Jay Rye and Jewel Bacchus were married in Russellville, Ark., last Sunday. * * * The Wetmore Shop, on Belmont avenue, advertises "Everything for the baby." * * * Sir: I feel that the time has come to call your attention to a letter received from C. A. Neuenhahn, of St. Louis. It concludes CAN/IT. A. E. W. * * * Persons who cannot compose 200 words of correct and smooth running English will write to a newspaper to criticize a "long and labored editorial." A labored editorial is one with which a reader does not agree. * * * THINK OF IT!