"I can't help it," said the giant, "I must find my wife."
And he went on climbing, and climbing, and climbing, which much
surprised Jack for he had no idea the grapevine was so high, and he
had thought sure it would break when the giant got upon it. But it
did nothing of the sort, and at last they came to the end and found
themselves standing before the giant's house.
"Now," said the giant, "we'll soon find out whether you're the wrong
Jack or not."
But when they reached the front door he gave a shout, for there he saw
a sign which said:
TO LET
and found that all the shutters were shut and not a soul about.
"Zounds!" yelled the monster, "what _is_ the matter, and where is
everybody? And what does 'to let' mean?"
"Why," said Jack, crawling out of the giant's pocket and sliding down
his leg to the ground, "I think it means that your house is for rent to
anybody that wants it. Your wife must have moved away."
"What?" bawled the giant, "my wife gone and my house left for any one
that wants it? Oh, wait until I catch her!"
Then he stamped his feet and tore his beard, and carried on something
dreadfully, until he had to sit down on the grass to get his breath.
"Well," he said, after a pause, "the only thing to do is to hunt until
we find her, for I can't find out whether you're the wrong Jack until
she sees you. So come along and we'll see if the neighbors can tell us
anything."
Whereupon he set off across the country with Jack running by his side
until presently they came to a tumble-down cottage.
"Here is where Goog, the ogress lives," said the giant. "She belonged
to the same sewing circle as my wife so maybe she knows where she is."
And he knocked at the cottage door.
"Why, hello, Blunderbuss!" exclaimed the ogress, smiling a very bristly
sort of a smile as she answered the summons. "Where did you come from?
I thought you were dead."
"Indeed," said Blunderbuss, "and I suppose my wife thought the same
thing and that is the reason she has locked up my house and marked it
'to let.'"
"Exactly," replied Goog. "She waited and waited after you fell down the
beanstalk and then decided you had broken your neck. So she closed the
house, sold the family jewels to get spending money, and then started
out to enjoy herself for once in her life."
"Started out to enjoy herself," repeated the giant. "That's a nice way
for a lady to act when she thinks her husband has broken his neck. And
where is she now, pray?"
"I couldn't say," replied the ogress. "Seeing as we belonged to the
same sewing circle I invited her here, but she just sniffed and said
she had no use for the lower classes now, so I guess she is cutting up
high jinks somewhere."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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