June 3rd.--The Man of Wrath, I observe, is laying traps for me and being
deep. He has prophesied that I will find solitude intolerable, and he is
naturally desirous that his prophecy should be fulfilled. He knows that
continuous rain depresses me, and he is awaiting a spell of it to bring
me to a confession that I was wrong after all, whereupon he will make
that remark so precious to the married heart, "My dear, I told you so."
He begins the day by tapping the barometer, looking at the sky, and
shaking his head. If there are any clouds he remarks that they are
coming up, and if there are none he says it is too fine to last. He has
even gone the length once or twice of starting off to the farm on hot,
sunny mornings in his mackintosh, in order to impress on me beyond all
doubt that the weather is breaking up. He studiously keeps out of my way
all day, so that I may have every opportunity of being bored as quickly
as possible, and in the evenings he retires to his den directly after
dinner, muttering something about letters. When he has finally
disappeared, I go out to the stars and laugh at his transparent wiles.
But how would it be if we did have a spell of wet weather? I do not
quite know. As long as it is fine, rainy days in the future do not seem
so very terrible, and one, or even two really wet ones are quite
enjoyable when they do come--pleasant times that remind one of the snug
winter now so far off, times of reading, and writing, and paying one's
bills. I never pay bills or write letters on fine summer days. Not for
any one will I forego all that such a day rightly spent out of doors
might give me; so that a wet day at intervals is almost as necessary for
me as for my garden. But how would it be if there were many wet days? I
believe a week of steady drizzle in summer is enough to make the
stoutest heart depressed. It is to be borne in winter by the simple
expedient of turning your face to the fire; but when you have no fire,
and very long days, your cheerfulness slowly slips away, and the
dreariness prevailing out of doors comes in and broods in the blank
corners of your heart. I rather fancy, however, that it is a waste of
energy to ponder over what I should do if we had a wet summer on such a
radiant day as this. I prefer sitting here on the verandah and looking
down through a frame of leaves at all the rosebuds June has put in the
beds round the sun-dial, to ponder over nothing, and just be glad that I
am alive. The verandah at two o'clock on a summer's afternoon is a place
in which to be happy and not decide anything, as my friend Thoreau told
me of some other tranquil spot this morning. The chairs are comfortable,
there is a table to write on, and the shadows of young leaves flicker
across the paper. On one side a Crimson Rambler is thrusting inquisitive
shoots through the wooden bars, being able this year for the first time
since it was planted to see what I am doing up here, and next to it a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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