Then he held his hands out to her with a weary gesture. She caught them
in hers eagerly. His skin felt hot and clammy, and it seemed as if his
pulse beat in his fingertips. Hers was beating fast too, but could not
keep pace with it.
"Listen to me, my dear child," he murmured. "I want to give you some
good advice before you go. You overflow with a superfluity of love;
three kinds of love--love emanating from the heart, from the senses,
and from compassion. One or other is necessary to everybody who isn't a
dried-up fossil, but two are dangerous, and all three are likely to
lead to ruin. Be on guard where your power of loving is concerned.
Don't squander your love. That is the advice of one on whom you cannot
squander it, for God knows he needs it."
"Have you no one to take care of you?" she asked, dreading to hear that
anyone but herself was privileged to nurse him.
He shook his head.
"Mayn't I come again?"
He flinched. The fervour of her question was startling. "It depends on
whether the class send you."
Lilly now cast off every shred of deception. "That was not true," she
stammered. "Not true! The class didn't send me. No one knows I've
come."
He bounded to his feet--almost as if he were quite well. His face
lengthened with dismay; his eyes filled with tears. He stretched out a
trembling hand, as if he would ward her off.
"You must go at once," he whispered; "at once!"
Lilly did not stir.
"If you don't go," he went on excitedly, "your prospects will be
ruined. It is not customary for young girls to call on unmarried men in
my position, even when the man is their master, and such a wreck as I
am. Mention to no one that you have been here, not even to your
greatest friend. Remember, your living depends on your reputation, and
I should be taking the bread out of your mouth if I let you stay. Go
instantly!"
"Am I never to come again?" Her eyes pleaded.
"No!" he thundered in a voice of iron resolve.
The next minute Lilly was pushed out of the room and the key turned in
the lock behind her.
* * * * *
She lost no time in disobeying his urgent instructions, and went
straight to Rosalie Katz, her chosen friend for the time being, to whom
she confided everything, and in whose company she relieved herself by
having a good cry. The little brown Jewess was soft-hearted and
desperately in love with him too, so they mingled their tears. They
forgot to shut the door, however, and it happened that the portly and
wealthy Herr Katz, whose waistcoat buttons were always bursting off,
came in to ask his daughter to sew one on. Finding the two girls locked
in a tearful embrace, he tactfully withdrew; but no sooner had Lilly
left the house than he extracted the whole story from Rosalie, of the
invalid master, the abortive committee meetings, and wasted iced
meringues.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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