He shifted restlessly to his elbow and built a cigarette; through its
thin blue mist he waded retrospectively in the stream of memory. Rapidly
in review passed his boyhood days in the far East, his college career
with its vast ambitions and roseate dreams, his migration to the
cloud-kissed Rockies where he had suffered the undoing of all his
mawkish illusions. An idealist of the most refined type, he writhed even
now at the merciless rape of all his virginal conceptions by that
unsympathetic iconoclast Practicality, that ironical cynic who laughs
our adolescent theories to scorn and desecrates the holiest of our
dream-woven holies. All his finespun hopes had been ruthlessly rent by
the hand of reality. Contact with humanity in its primeval phase had
worn his unusually refined sensibilities to the quick and the reaction
was as unhealthy as it was inevitable. From enthusiastic optimism to
hopeless pessimism is only a short step for exaggerated natures like
his, and there were few things that this man now held sacred--and none
that he held holy. Even life itself, and particularly that of other men,
he held in contempt, and with the usual disastrous consequences. There
were few, even in this land of reckless men, who cared to arouse the
slumbering devil under the quiet demeanor of this gray-eyed range rider
who killed first and argued afterward.
From the pinnacle of a great faith in his kind he had been hurled
headlong to the depths of unbelief and suspicion. He had seen Loyalty
mocked and betrayed; starving Intelligence bought with a price by
crime-opulent Ignorance; naked Virtue crouched shivering in the shadow
of exalted, ermined Vice; the sots and trulls of bestial Sensuality
deified and worshiped in the public places. He had seen the harlotry of
Society set above the sacrament of Maternity, the butchery of embryonic
souls so that their lawful heritage might be squandered in the
prostitution of Love to Vanity and Indolence. He had witnessed the
sacrifice of every civic virtue to the Moloch of Greed and Graft, the
abasement of all human motives to the idol of Self.
The fiercely-drawn cigarette burned his lips and he threw it away with a
snarling curse, his whole sentience revolted with the odor of social
corruption, his soul sickening in resentment of his own undeserved
failure. He had been honest and industrious, energetic, leal and true,
conscientious in all things--and to what end?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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