And there fell a silence upon the room. The sun was shining outside, and
the sound of the water gurgling against the sides of boats, and of all
the commotion of the landing place, and of the hundreds of voices in the
air, and of the chiming of the clocks, came in and filled the place.
And just then there burst out a carillon from one of the steeples
setting the whole to music, harmonising all the discords, and sweeping
into this silence with a sudden rush of sound as if some bodily presence
had come in. It was the touch too much for all these excited and
troubled people. Mrs. Kingsward lay back in her chair and began to weep
silently. Aubrey Leigh turned away from where he was standing and leant
his head against the wall. As for Bee, she sat quite still, dazed, not
able to understand, but crushed out of all her youthful self-assertion
and determination to clear it all up. She to clear it up!--who did not
even understand it, who could not fathom what was meant. That there was
something more than met the eye, something that was not put into words,
seemed to show vaguely through the words that were said. But what it was
Bee could not tell. She could not understand it all. And yet that there
was a fatal obstacle rising up between her and her lover, something
which no one could disperse or clear away, not a mistake, not a
falsehood, not a thing that could be passed over triumphantly and
forgotten--not as youth is so quick to believe a mere severity, tyranny,
arbitrary conclusion of papa--she felt in every fibre of her frame. She
could not deny it or struggle against it; her very being seemed
paralysed. The meaning went out of her face, the absolute, certain,
imperious youthfulness died out of her. She who loved to have her own
way, who had just protested that she would neither give up nor hold fast
except by her own will and understanding, now sat dumb, vaguely staring,
seeing shadows pass before her and hearing of things which were
undeniable, mighty things, far more powerful than her little hot
resolutions and determinations. Bee had never yet come face to face with
any trouble which could not be smoothed away. There was her own
naughtiness, there were Charlie’s escapades at school and college--some
of which she had known were serious. But in a little while they had been
passed over and forgotten, and everything had been as before. One time
she remembered papa had threatened not to let Charlie go back to Harrow,
which was a dreadful thing, exposing him and his naughtiness to all the
world. But after a while papa had changed his mind, and everything had
gone smoothly as before. Could papa change his mind now? Would time make
it, even if he did, as it was before? Bee had not mental power enough to
think these things, or ask these questions of her own will. But they
went through her mind as people come in and go out by an open door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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